Officiant Help!
Posted in e's vow renewal, elizabeth, the planning process by elizabeth
My planner broached a very difficult question to me last weekend: who do I want to officiate the ceremony? The answer: I have NO idea.
My husband and I are not religious people, so I do not want an officiant affiliated with any specific religion or church. A justice of the peace seems so cold and impersonal. And, even though it might *sound* fun, I really don’t want to ask one of our friends to do it. I think someone with experience is best. So, essentially, I like none of my options. Can I actually have no officiant?
What do you think I should do? Some things to note: 1) it does not have to be legal, as we are already married, 2) we will definitely be having all non-religious, non-classical music at our ceremony, 3) the ceremony will be very short and sweet, probably a couple of readings from friends, a “do you still, do you still”, and a yay it’s over.
Help!
E.
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I think that it would be VERY cool if you somehow officiated it yourselves! (I say this because our priest says that the bride and groom administer the sacrament of marriage to eachother through the vows and then through the rest of their lives together). I know that your ceremony will be non-religious, but with the above example, why cant you officiate/administer it yourselves?! I love the idea of readings from family and friends and renewing your vows to eachother. Why pay for an officiant who is not familiar with the two of you (and probably monotone) when you could create and officiate the ceremony yourselves!!!!
My husband and I felt the same way. We had two close friends participate in our ceremony. It was personal and very memorable. My husband was then ordained and performed a ceremony the following year for a friend of his. He loved being involved in the process, and looks forward to having the chance to work with other couples. Perhaps some version of this arrangement would work for the two of you!
I agree that you should go officiant-free for this affair! It would seem so much more personal and impactual to hear your husband profess all of his personal testaments to the marriage and then ask you something to the effect of…”Will you still take me to be your husband… ” The first wedding is all about being given away and rights of passage… I think that the renewal is more of a personal testiment to the amount of work that has been put into the marriage and a sincere and intimate promise to one another about what is to come….
Good for you- considering going solo. I love it.
It would be really personal to either officiant yourself or have someone close to you have more limited officiant role, kind of like ‘master of ceremonies’ ha ha ha! But I think that an officiant does add a someone to cue up your readers and even do short, abreviated lead in’s for the sections of your vow renewal. Just to play devils advocate here!
We are using an officiant who is a retired non-denominational minister so he has public speaking down but we are writing our very non-religious ceremony. A friend could easily do this as well.
Good luck with the decision!
i was going to say the same thing they said - write your own vows and skip the officiant part. after all, they really only say, “do you …?” and prompt you about what to say, so having one isn’t necessary since you don’t need one for the law (assuming you’re willing to memorize vows and stuff!).
There is nothing more sacred than the verbal committment the two of you vow to each other. The only reason you need an offiiciant at all is for the legality of the marriage…the “paper”. And we all know its not the “paper” but the “promise” that really matters!
p.s. wouldn’t the pictures of the ceremony be nicer w/o an officiant anyway?
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