Reader question of the day… Please share your opinions on assigned seating at the reception, both from the bride’s and the guests’ point of view. Yay or nay?
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I think it depends on the size of the wedding and who else is placed at your table. I kind of like it, although its more work than I need. If my wedding was smaller, I would definitely consider it.
I don’t like the idea of assigning seats and trying to mix up the tables to encourage conversation. I think most people prefer to sit and chat with their friends and family rather than try to make new friends.
Assigned seating has some great aspects. No clique forming. No overcrowded tables of people who want to be together leaving another table half empty and feeling a little ignored. Great way to have people meet each other (and share stories about you!).
It also has some drawbacks of feeling a bit stuffy feeling and someone may end up sitting next to someone that while you didn’t know it – they secretly hate.
Best of both worlds? Assign to a table, not a seat. They get all the benefits of assignments w/o the potential “i hate that guy and she sat me next to him!!” feeling.
If you are doing escort cards don’t forget you can be creative! A friend of mine did Escort CD’s that had their favorite songs and was labeled with our names and table number = gift and escort card in 1!
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I like assigned tables rather than assigned seating. This is a great way to mix tables up, but not so strict as to where you tell guests where to sit. (esp since many guests will change their seats if they don’t like where you placed them)
I definitely do not like completely open seating because sometimes guests could get stuck sitting next to someone they may not know or like…or worst, end up getting split up if there is no tables open that can accommodate their size family.
As a frequent wedding guest (huge family) I can say that assigned seating has ALWAYS put a bad taste in my mouth. I agree with SMW above- assigned tables are better. The best is no assigned anything of course, but I understand that that makes it very difficult for served dinners. My favorite weddings attended have always been buffet-style stand or sit at your own leisure affairs. This is so much more comfortable for the guests. People can talk and sit with who they want to, as well as get to know the other family. If you are seated next to ‘Aunt Wilma’ from the new family, well, you will really get to know her and noone else. Mix it up people!
I agree with Anna SMW that assigned tables are great! We find that at 100+ weddings, it takes a lot longer for the guests to settle in at the reception when there are no assignments (seats or tables).
Not a huge fan, honestly. I wrote a long post about it here (http://www.blueskybride.com/?p=61).
ok, i’ll weigh in on this one… and then i’m sure bekah will have an opinion!
i’m into the assigned seating, or at least assigned tables.
as a guest, i *hate* it when i go to receptions without assigned seating. at least 95% of the time, we plant roots at a table and walk away to make rounds and then either a) when we come back someone we don’t know/don’t like is there or b) our friends have already sat down on another table, and then you have to table hop, or c) there turn out not to be enough seats left for the people you want to sit with to join you.
as a bride, i see a true pro and con. Pro: FUN FUN FUN with escort cards and place cards. Con: fighting over the seating chart and making last minute changes after rsvps are received.
also, don’t forget that seating is 100% necessary if you are having a sit-down dinner and you have people choose an entree on their RSVP.
I think not assigning seating (or at least tables) can cause some awkward discomfort among guests… which is totally against the point of the fun party part of the wedding, right? It sometimes reminds of me kids picking teams in school – inevitably someone will feel left out.
I’m going with assigned tables… for reasons the others mentioned before: getting the guests “settled in” quicker, not having the problem of some tables being overly full with others being not so much, etc. I can say that at my sister’s wedding, where there were no assignments at all, some people had a hard time finding a place to sit. For instance, there was 3 or 4 people in a family, and they had a hard time searching for a table that had that many open chairs left.
I do plan on sitting the “cliques” that exist together so that everyone has a great time though!
I think assigned tables are a must. My sister’s wedding did not have any kind of seating assignments and it was a disaster. The groom’s aunt and cousin basically ended up yelling at my brother and I because they couldn’t sit with their family (very akward).
I also think it makes your guests more comfortable if they don’t know a lot of other people at the wedding. It avoids a lot of akward “can I sit here” or “is this seat taken.” Not having assigned seating is reminiscent of middle school lunch tables, at least to me.
No seat assignments at my wedding…they will consider themselves lucky if they find a seat at all. :) JK.
I think assigned tables is the least you can do. People come to weddings to have a blast with their friends and family. Who wants to be the one who gets left out and has to sit with a bunch of people they don’t know….
I think assigned seats is formal and a nice touch. Of course it depends on your patience and the size of your wedding. Assigned seats is a way to make sure that Mr. Jones gets to sit next to his wife Mrs. Jones.
Sometimes couples get split up (I have seen it before) and people they don’t know don’t want to move for them. Esp. if they are lagging behind or in line for the bathroom (they get last pick at a table and seat).
And there are so many great place card options.
Another thing…if you don’t have assigned tables this means no escort cards and no escort card displays :)
Let your guests relax and not have to worry about running over to table 5 to put their coat down so they can sit next to their friends…
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i think assigned tables are a must for the reasons everyone else says. obviously, i’d rather spend time with my friends/fam than strangers. i hate feeling like i’m dumping people by leaving their table when i find out my friends are sitting somewhere else. i also don’t like seeing those overcrowded tables next to the partially full ones either. note: i do prefer assigned tables rather than seats though – i’d hate to end up sitting next to a “friend” i don’t actually like!
assigned tables = the way to go! I’m not a fan of unassigned tables that leave people attempting to “save seats” , tables of 5 instead of the full 8, etc.
I don’t plan on incorporating assigned seating at my wedding; I can see where it should be used, though. Since my wedding will be semi-small, I want my guests to just sit wherever they please, with whomever they are most comfortable with. However, I can see where this may become an issue with bigger weddings.
I may even ask my guests beforehand who they’d like to be seated with, so that I am able to somehow “assign” their seats; there may be less of a chance of the guests playing musical chairs that way.
As a guest, not having assigned seats (or at the least tables) makes me a litle panicky. I feel like it’s the first day of 8th grade again and I am walking up to tables all, “Do you mind if I sit with you?”
As a bride, I now realize why people go without! It’s a lot of work to assign all those seats. We’ll definitely have table assignments at the least (some stick family situations will demand it) but I am still undecided about actual seating assignments.
this ultimate depends on how formal your wedding is and the size. i think that even for a smaller wedding assigned tables make things a bit smoother for everyone…
I’m a bit late, but I’ll weigh in. I agree with Tara. It totally depends on the size of the wedding and the menu you’re serving. Informal weddings with light menus don’t need them. If it’s a cocktail reception, and you don’t have enough seating for everyone a seating assignment is completely unnecessary. It it’s a formal sit down dinner, then absolutely have a seating arrangement. Just learn from my mistake and don’t lose the seating arrangement the day of the wedding!