Gratuity Etiquette Part II
Posted in liene, the planning process by liene
Yesterday we talked about etiquette when it comes to paying gratuities to your wedding vendors. Knowing how much to tip can be confusing, so I’ve broken it down per vendor. These numbers aren’t hard and fast and the amounts usually vary by region, but they’ll help give you a general idea of what’s appropriate.
Officiant: Check with your officiant about gratuities prior to the wedding day. Depending in the type of officiant (judge, clergy member, etc), there may be a law or rule prohibiting them from accepting tips. If not, then plan on tipping them 15-20% of their fee.
Wait Staff and Food Service Employees: These include the catering manager, banquet captain, chefs, bakers, bartenders and anyone else assisting with the culinary side of your reception. The gratuity scale is similar to that of a restaurant with the amount totaling around 15-22% of the total bill. The total amount should be split amongst them.
Hair Stylist and Make Up Artist: Whether you go to the salon or the stylists come to you, 15-20% is the standard rate for tips.
Valet: $1-3 per vehicle is appropriate. Make sure the valet is instructed to graciously decline any tips guests may try to offer them. A simple “thank you, but it’s been taken care of” will suffice.
Chauffeurs: 15-20% of the total bill is appropriate for your limo driver, trolley driver or attendant, or any other wedding day transportation professional.
Musicians and DJs:For exceptional service, 15-20% of the total fee is a nice gesture of thanks. This amount can be split amongst the band members or DJs, if there were more than one.
Photographers and Videographers: 10-15% of their shooting fee is appreciated.
Wedding Planner: 10-15% of the consultant’s fee is a nice way to say thank you, although most consultants will not expect it.
Delivery Staff: Delivery fees are often included in your contracts, but most of those costs go towards fuel and overhead and not the drivers. If you’d like to tip the people who deliver your rental items, flowers, cake, etc, then $10-15 is sufficient.
Most vendors will not expect tips, but it is a nice gesture of thanks. The best way to say thank you, however, is not monetary, but rather by sending future referrals. The wedding industry thrives on word of mouth, and spreading some positive love about your vendors is the best way to show your gratitude.
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If you are kind of close with any of your vendors - like the photographer or the consultant - would it be bad taste to get them a small something special instead of a monetary tip?? If you are on a tight budget, it seems like that would be a nice gesture as a way to say thanks (and maybe a little less expensive) than a monetary tip.
What do you think??
Any hints for when the officiants, photographers, or caterers are family members or friends? Or perhaps you received a hefty discount because of your relationship?
I have always heard that you shouldn’t tip if you are working with the owner of the business- particularly if they are freelance hair, makeup, invites, etc. Is that untrue?
As a consultant, I received a gift card from a client, along with a monetary gift, and I thought it was a very nice gesture! It was for a very nice restaurant where they had gotten engaged, so it was also personal, which I thought was very sweet, as we had developed a personal relationship, and I knew it was something meaningful for them. I don’t expect tips, as I’m sure other consultants don’t, and personally, I think any gesture to show your thanks would be much appreciated!
Rachel - Since people should never expect a tip, I think a small gift in lieu of a monetary gratuity is fine.
Linda - If the person is your friend and gave you a discount, I would definitely still tip them. Depending on what type of vendor they are, they probably turned down a full-paying job for that day to do the friend’s event.
Natalie - not tipping the owner comes from the assumption that the owner gets the biggest share of the price. While this should be true, oftentimes small business owners pay themselves last or don’t get paid after they’ve covered overhead expenses and paid any assistants. This may be poor financial planning on their part, but it is still often the case. No owner should ever expect to be tipped, which is why it is really your call on whether you want to or not.
Is it considered an insult to tip less than the standard amount like it is for waiters/waitresses? Or is any tip better than no tip?
Crystal - waiters and waitresses usually make below minimum wage (a legal loophole because of gratuity income) which is why they are so dependent on their tips. Since the other vendors are receiving their full fee, and shouldn’t expect a tip anyway, I don’t think it would be an insult if you tipped less. The numbers I gave are really just a guideline.
I was told that if you feed them that you shouldn’t have to tip them..is that true?
Laura - A meal and gratuity are separate. The reason for providing a meal for the vendor is so that they don’t have to leave the venue in order to eat. I recommend feeding any vendor who is there for longer than 5 hours.
As photographers, any tip is always a lovely surprise, but we certainly do not expect one. Experience (ours and colleagues) indicates that photographers do not ever anticipate a tip. I would estimate that 90% of photographers are self-employed freelancers, and they have built all necessary funds into their price. A thank-you note after the fact is enough.
I, for one, would much prefer to enjoy a wall of thank-you notes from our clients than a stack of $100 bills!
If you did receive a steep discount, however, especially if your photographer was a friend or family member, that would be the appropriate time to tip. It shows your appreciation for the discount, and for the extra love they put into working on your wedding day rather than attending as a guest.
If you LOVE love love your photographer, and you WANT to tip, a small cash tip is nice — say $100 or less. 10-15% of our fee would be absurd, in my opinion.
My FI and I have been moonlighting as wedding videographers for the last five years. When we started we never expected tips and have yet to ever receive one but have yet to have a disappointed couple. We only do a handful of weddings a year since we have 9-5 jobs. The business is still in the early phases so money to us is just something that goes right back into the business for supplies, it isn’t something for our pockets yet. Therefore we’d sooner take a referral or a thank you note to help us grow and better the business if a client wants to ‘thank’ us.
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