Wedding Style: the Dress
Posted in rachel, what to wear by rachel
Finding a wedding dress is an interesting process, to say the least. It is definitely the one iconic thing you will buy for your wedding that really brings it home that, yes, you are getting married. It can be a fun and joyous process. It can be a little frustrating at times. It can make you laugh, smile, and bring tears to your eyes. It can be all of that, really, because it is a big important decision, and usually one that takes a few times of looking to figure out.
I’m getting married in November, but I wanted to get started on my planning early so I wouldn’t be pressed for time. After booking the venue, flipping through every bridal magaizine that was out at the time, and kind of thinking about how I wanted my wedding to “look”, I thought it would be a good idea to look for a dress. Once I had my dress picked out, I could settle on a bridesmaid dress and my fiancee could think about tuxedoes and ties. Also, and I don’t mind sharing this with you, it would help to provide some concrete (expensive concrete at that!) motivation for really getting back into my workout routine that I had stopped sometime during my courship with my fiancee.
When I first started looking, all I really knew was that I didn’t want a “princess” dress, or anything with a very full skirt. I didn’t want anything like this:
And, on the other end of the spectrum, I knew I wanted something a little more formal than this:
{J Crew}
After looking through the magazines, I thought I wanted something like this:
This:
{Watters}
Or this:
{Mori Lee}
But when I showed people the picture of the last one, they would inevitably comment on the jacket. What? I kind of liked the jacket, but I was met with a few raised eyebrows. After trying it on, it wasn’t REALLY the dress for me. I can’t tell you why, but it was just “okay”. (But I thought the jacket was fab!)
I then went with my sister and tried on a few more. Out of that grouping the favorite was a strapless champagne dupioni silk A-line dress from Casablanca. I definitely liked it better than the lace one, but I still wasn’t sold on it 100%. Was it TOO plain??
So, one chilly January morning, my Mom and I set out to look at dresses at yet another shop. What we had gone into the shop to try on (a specific dress), they didn’t have, but we found several others to try on nonetheless. I tried on lacy ones, fuller-skirted ones, empire-waisted ones, chiffon ones, and silk ones. After all of that, I narrowed it down to these two (neither of which really fit me, btw):
{Pronovias}
My favorite was the strapless one. Oh, I can hear you now, “But I thought you didn’t want one that was “poufy”?” Well, it’s not that poufy in person. It was very pretty, and with the slightly dropped waist managed to show off my “curvy” figure. I could tell this was my Mom’s favorite as well as she kept commenting on how different it was. But, the other one looked good too. When I had it on, my Mom happened to mention how ”flattering” it was on me - that’s always a plus! Also, it was on sale for $400! What a steal! So it was a tough decision. I didn’t have “that feeling” of just *knowing* which one was right for me. But, I was getting tired and hungry. And the strapless one was my favorite - I had thought it was so pretty on the hanger when I first saw it. Plus, I could tell, that was my Mom’s favorite. So I chose the strapless one.
Now, I am going to share with you one of the funniest/most horrifying moments of my life. I am sharing this with you with the hopes that it will make others smile and maybe not feel so bad about themselves. That moment would be my measurements and matching them to the sizing chart. Eeek! Now, I am a tall girl. 5′8″ to 5′9″ to be exact. This was before I started my workout plan, and I know I’m no skinny-Minnie. But I was horrified. They tell you that the sizing runs “small”. “European” sizing. And I’m usually not one to get upset over numbers. But as I matched my measurements to the sizes - bust: size 12 waist: size 14 hips: size 20 - I nearly died!! Was I truly that triangular?? OMG. Even though they say to order from your largest measurment, there was NO WAY that I was ordering that size. I am no where near a size 20. We decided that I could lose 2-inches off my booty by November, so I ordered a 16. Dangerous? Possibly. But I know I can do it.
As we drove away, all I could think was “Gee, I hope I really like that dress…. Did I choose the right one? It’s non-refundable, and Mom would get so mad…” But I’m happy to say that the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with it. I truly do love my dress, and can’t wait to wear it!
How was your dress-buying experience? Am I the only one that was horrified by the sizing?
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I’m a plus size so I wasn’t too surprised by the sizes of the dresses I tried on. In fact, I tried to ignore the sizes all together and just focus on what I liked or disliked about the dress.
HOR-IF-FIED! I knew what dress I wanted immediately, found it in a store near by and prayed it would look good. I got to the store and tried on the size 8 dress they had. It fit decently, I couldn’t zip it up entirely, but I figured that was cool.
Then she took my measurements and the real size Nicole Miller said I was - a 16. WTF???? I got the dress and cut the tag out immediately. It definitely needs some taking in - but GEEZ.
Me too. I was horrified. And to top it off, my dress was TOO SMALL when it came back in the huge size (literally three times my normal size.) I fit by not wearing a bra. But I was pretty angry about paying that much for a dress and then not having it fit perfectly. (I even lost weight, I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had stayed the size they originally measured me in!)
Mine too was ordered way bigger than what I am. Then to add insult, they had to take it in a whole heck of a lot! I think they just like them to run big so they can be sure to have it fit right to your body.
I actually bought the JCrew dress you have pictured above and loved it as my wedding dress. Didn’t try it on or anything. It fit out of the box and that is what I loved about it other than the fact that it wasn’t a pouffy, cupcake dress.
I eloped and wore a silk suit, but before I did that I did buy a wedding dress and it sucked! This is a day where you are supposed to feel wonderful about yourself and you are in a dress that is DOUBLE the size you are usually. Oh well, a friend had either an Amsale or Vera Wang that she had a custom tag made for that read like Mary Poppins. Instead of a size, it said Perfect in Every Way. Cracked me up!
OMG - I’m loving how flowy your dress is! How beautiful! That will look amazing when you’re walking down the aisle.
As for the Euro sizes - screw them!!
I had the same problem, every measurement they took I kept going up a size or two. I guess my final measurement added yet another dress size and they suggested ‘if I could lose 1.5″ off my hips’… I told them I wouldn’t guarantee anything, I like eating too much. They could order the bigger size and since they had a set rate for alterations their ladies could deal with it.
When I got my dress I went to a sample sale in NYC. I am basically a size 6, but busty, so for dresses I usually need an 8. I figured that would be fine for sample sale land. But practically none of them fit. It was one of the least beautiful and sexy-feeling days of my life, and it was the day I tried on my wedding dress for the first time! I ended up in a really pretty, summery, ivory strapless MaxMara gown that was not part of the sample sale, so way more than I wanted to pay, and a size 10, way bigger than I ever hoped to wear. You would think they could re-work the sizing of wedding dresses, since that’s the day we’re supposed to feel most beautiful, and that’s hard when the tag glaring back at you is 2-3 sizes (at least) bigger than you normally wear. I guess we should just feel better knowing that it happens to all of us, and we don’t have “mutant bodies.”
Ladies! NO ONE sees the tag! And, bridal runs smaller than street clothes, just like couture of any kind runs smaller than ready to wear! If you look like a million dollars in a sixe 16 instead of a sausage in a casing in a size 10- isn’t it worth the difference!!! The only thing I can say here is, if the samloe is a size 10 and it fits, but the sales consultant wants to sell you a size 18- run!!! They want to make up the difference in alteration charges. When I used to sell wedding gowns, I saw it all the time and now that I am a planner and go with my brides and their maids, I can say “Oh No!” Order the sixe 10 or the ize 16- I know the difference. Size isn’t important- how you feel in the dress is! Love the dress, don’t let anyone else chose it for you and don’t go shopping with everyone you know!!! go alone or with a trusted person- your mom, sister or maid of honor. And chose the dress YOU want- forget abou the size and the opinions! You will be much happier.
Oh that dress is gorgeous, and $400??? That is crazy! What a deal
But for me, I sew, so the sizing is no surprise. Pattern sizes run like this - larger and according to a smaller set of measurements because the sizes were created when people were smaller. The change in sizes since the 70’s or so is called “vanity sizing”, to make people think they were getting smaller 
But I agree, when the students I teach pattern-based sewing get their first patterns, it’s always a SHOCK to them to see that size (and it was to me for the first time!)
Yes, the sizing IS a shock. I knew that the dress sizes would be “bigger” than I normally wear (I was trying on a 12, and it *almost* fit ) because of the vanity sizing of the last 20-30 years or so…. and really, the number doesn’t matter to me. But seeing such a large number did have an effect - I guess because it was so much larger than I thought it should be (ha ha ha!). Another reason I went with the slightly smaller size was price - if we ordered the 20 it would have cost around $45 more. And even with ordering the 16, I’m going to have to have it taken in at my waist and bust. Ahhh….. I guess that’s how it goes!!
I LOVE the idea of the Mary Poppins tag! Very cute idea!
Dresses…..well, I bought three at a going out of business sale for $100 each. 1 for me, 2 for resale ($350 ea) …the first was really pretty and very, very big with a ballgown skirt, cathedral train, yards and yards and yards of floating, bejeweled chiffon. Fast forward two years to the actual wedding planning and it just didn’t suit - not me, not the final wedding plans, not anything.
I bought a dress off eBay - gorgeous vintage, but at $57 worth the risk to me. It was not accurately marked, size-wise, and so I went back to eBay and bid on a dress from a different seller. I got it for $31. It arrived and was tight in the bust. Wouldn’t zip past my waist. After a nerve-wracking couple of days, my MOH’s mother had it let out and fitting perfectly!
I still have the other two dresses and I’ll be donating both, the poofy one to a charity whose proceeds go to helping battered women regain their financial independence and the too-small vintage gown to a historical society.
PS disregard those sizes! They are based on an archaic sizing system and have nothing to do with the natural loveliness of your form!
omb, the sizing thing was RIDICULOUS! i’m normally a 0-2 in dresses. the wanted me to order a 10 based on my hip measurement… for a ball gown style dress. i called them back 30 mins later and switched to an 8. then they had to take it in at least 2 sizes when i got it. grr!
Haha! I know exactly how you feel!
I didn’t want:
1) a poufy dress
2) no train
3) no A-lines for me
4) no strapless dress
I went from Suzanne Neville designs to Oscar De La Renta to Norsdtrom and ended up with a dress with everything I didn’t want above and am currently {note: currently} loving it or at least the idea of it.
I have until June 15th to decide if i want it after the fitting or I could choose another if I have lost enough weight by then.
Malaysian brides are known to be stick thin so trying on dresses upon dresses and finding out they don’t fit was disheartening but I’m glad I finally found one that could fit me and that I loved.
The downer was to have the nice lady tell me it’s in XXL.(Malaysians measure in XXS, XS, S, M and L only with the occassional XL). Oh well …
P/S : Your strapless dress is gorgeous! Great choice.
Did anyone else get flack from the sales girl for wanting to order a size smaller? I am sure that this is something that almost all brides do, but she was so incredibly resistant to the idea. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight over the past few years, so I know that I can lose it, but the doubt I saw in the face of the sales girl wasn’t very helpful.
Jenna - I didn’t catch TOO much flack from the sales ladies. They did kind of look at me like a little funny, and tell me that they don’t really advise that…. Also, my dress has split seams and so therefore can’t be let out.
I too have lost some weight in the last couple of years (and put some back on…) so I know I can do it. Plus, I still have 6 months to the wedding, so I have time.
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one whose eyes were opened while dress shopping!!
Is it jsut me - or shouldn’t this be the one thing that always gets skewed the OTHER WAY. Shouldn’t any girl who is a 16 fit into an 8 in her wedding dress!?!? Isn’t this the one time where fibbing in the numbers should be in FAVOR of the girl?? Why am I (normally an
in a dress that fits me PERFECTLY, but comes with a 12 tag?? (I realize that numbers wise its not bad, but when I tired it on, it fit like a glove, so i was THRILLED that I knew EXACTLY which size to order, and I almost cried when they told me it was a 12!) No one should want to cry in something they feel beautiful in!! I know the numbers game has nothing to do with reality of how beautiful one looks or feels, but it was a major mental road block for me.
Didn’t they tell you off the bat that your wedding gown is going to be at least 2 sizes larger than your street size? The gowns are still sized by couture/old-school standards (you know, the same ones that made miss Marilyn Monroe a “huge” size 12). I also had the same hip-measurement shock — I’m very, very petite but had to order a size 8 to accommodate my cello-shaped body. The waist is *still* being taken in after 2 fittings. All of which adds up to a mass chorus of “Do not be alarmed”.
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