Etiquette Dilemmas

This is more nit-picky than a major dilemma, but my BMs think it’s a little bridezilla of me to not want my guests to use flash photography during my ceremony. I remember that my mom mentioned it was tacky when I was a little girl in my aunt’s wedding, so that has obviously stayed with me. Can I put a polite request in the program?

Here’s one I’ve been struggling with lately:

Is it tacky to list where we’ve registered on our wedding website?

Looking forward to your thoughts on this! Thanks!!

My fiance and I are having trouble with our guest list. We want a relatively intimate affiar, with people who truly mean something to us, people who have been influential to us as a couple. In other words: no strangers. My immediate family (including my dad) has not been on good terms with my father’s parents/siblings for over a year. I remain in some contact but it’s very limited. We live so far away that my fiance has not met anyone from that side of the family. We’d really like to have a wedding without them there since they’ve proven to cause drama in the past. What to do?

our RSVP cards didn’t include how many seats we reserved for people…now we are beginning to get them back and we’re not sure how many people our guests are trying to bring. it looks like we’re going to have to make a lot of phone calls after the fact. what’s the best way to handle this? or how do we tell people that the invitation was just for them and did not include a guest? we had addressed them as either mr. p or mr. p and friend or mr. p and family but it still seems as though people are confused.
help is appreciated! :)

Everywhere I have read, it seems that inviting people without inviting their significant others is a big no-no. We are trying to keep our wedding a small affair (less than 130) based on the fire-marshal code. Plenty of people that I work with have started assuming (and expressing) that they are invited to the wedding, so I have allowed for them in the count. However, I know very few of their significant others. Would it be rude to ask the co-workers to just come as a group (It’s not as if they wouldn’t know anyone else there…)? And if not, how would I word it if it came up in conversation?

We are having a small wedding of only 50 people for close family and friends, however, contemplating having an engagement party - is it rude to invite people to the engagement party that will not be invited to the wedding?

Good luck, ladies! These are some tricky questions!

My question is about alcohol at the reception. We plan on serving four seasonal signature drinks at our wedding. Our wedding is around Christmas, so we wanted to serve more classic, vintage style punches and champagne cocktails. Our ideas include pomegranate sangria, peach bellinis, hot rum punch, and cranberry champagne cocktail). My father insists we serve beer, and claims that it is “rude” not to serve it. Is beer expected or will our signature drinks suffice?

My FI and I have decided not to register and we’re not asking for cash gifts either. I know the questions will come flying in as soon as the invitations are received. I know most anyone who calls is not going to accept ‘no gifts’ as a satisfactory answer. If they push for a suggestion it’d be cash or gift card but I know I’d feel really uneasy making those suggestions. Any advice on how I can make these suggestions not so rough around the edges.

How about this one:

I’ll be living in Washington for two months before the wedding, but FI and I will be living in Dallas for the next few years. I know that all of these ladies want to give me fun gifts to open at the bridal shower and the wedding, but really, they are an incredible burden to ship. We are registering online, but I know that many women want to physically see my face when I open it. Can I just tell him I will videotape myself opening every present in Dallas and send them a copy of the video :) How can I encourage guests to ship them to me and ease any financial burden they might be causing by making us figure out how to get it done.?

Ok, here is one for you - How long do you have to write your thank you cards after the wedding? My mother told me six weeks after the wedding, so I followed that rule. But it is funny, I have heard so many variations - six weeks after the honeymoon, six months after the wedding or even a year after the wedding (I think that person was actually confusing that rule with you have a year to give a gift after a wedding). Can you clear this one up for folks?

I’m not sure if this is too late… but I have a question. I don’t have a lot of relatives here in the US. But I can’t invite all of them due to budget constraints, so I decided to invite only those that are very close to me. However, a lot of them (that I don’t plan to invite) have invited themselves. They’ve been waiting and asking when I’m getting married for a while. What is a good way to handle this?