Comments on: Etiquette 101: Guest List

By: anne

anne — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:48:14 +0000

@ Danielle: I totally agree. I had the same problem, which is why I highly advocate inviting only those you really love.
@ Amy: We’re happy to help! I hope you are able to resolve the situation with as little pain as possible.

By: Danielle @ Southern Wedding Style Magazine

Danielle @ Southern Wedding Style Magazine — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:46:43 +0000

I had this same issue at my wedding and truly regret inviting as many people as I did. It became more about them than it was about my husband and myself. It’s a tough call, but you need to be able to look back on your wedding day and remember what it meant to the two of you, NOT how your family spent the day taking jabs at one another.

By: HappyAmy

HappyAmy — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:50:19 +0000

Thank you for tackling this for me. I have given it a lot of thought, and still don’t have a good answer. The last fall out actually occurred at my cousins wedding (which I was unable to attend) my mom called me in tears and it’s been a bumpy road ever since. The rest of my family is so extremely close, that when the other side of the family is around it is always tense, awkward and strained and it’s been like that for as long as I can remember.
Thanks Erin and SSp for your responses!

And Anne, your last lince is exactly the line I’ve been using in deciding on everyone else! And for the bridal party it’s been “would they be one of my very first calls”. It’s so tough to decide who to include, but it will all work itself out!

Thanks again!

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:38:11 +0000

we had the exact same issue. my father’s brother and sister weren’t speaking to him and i’ve always loved all of my cousins, but things were very distant. i didn’t want to invite them, but my dad really wanted to reach out to them. i had always gone to all of my cousins’ weddings. we ended up inviting them and my dad’s sister and all of her kids came and my dad’s brother’s kids came. we have all been talking once a week since the wedding. it was a great start to repairing the relationship. weddings are a very special time and they remind people to love and forgive. i wouldn’t have invited a friend that i felt this way about, but family is different to me. i’m so glad that we invited them and that we don’t feel regretful now about any of that. that’s just my opinion.

i think etiquette books would say that you don’t HAVE to invite your family, if you are looking for a technical answer, but speaking from experience, it worked out for the best for us to invite them. my parents still ended up really enjoying the day. i was really worried that it would ruin it for them, but it didn’t. there were lots of happy tears!

By: ssp

ssp — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:05:37 +0000

I am having a similar issue with my aunts and uncles who are not on speaking terms with my parents. Although I know there won’t be issues at the wedding, I don’t want my parents feeling anything less than thrilled that day. I’ve gone back and forth, and still don’t have a resolution. Look forward to hearing what others have to say!