Etiquette 101: Single Guests
Alexis commented with a guest list dilemma. She says:
Everywhere I have read, it seems that inviting people without inviting their significant others is a big no-no. We are trying to keep our wedding a small affair (less than 130) based on the fire-marshal code. Plenty of people that I work with have started assuming (and expressing) that they are invited to the wedding, so I have allowed for them in the count. However, I know very few of their significant others. Would it be rude to ask the co-workers to just come as a group (It’s not as if they wouldn’t know anyone else there…)? And if not, how would I word it if it came up in conversation?
The answer? Group invites aren’t proper etiquette, but they are common practice. Most offices wouldn’t frown on receiving a group invitation. However, keep in mind that you probably won’t get an accurate account of guests. If you need an exact head count (which it sounds like you do), go with separate invitations. If you are unable to invite the entire group because of space restrictions, then don’t invite anyone.
As for not inviting significant others, there is no way around this rule. If they are married or have a live-in partner, you need to invite them. It is up to your discretion whether you should invite a guest of the single co-workers. It’s a nice gesture, but not required.
Look for more answers to your burning questions this weekend!
A.
I have read that when it comes to co-workers, it is okay to not include a guest or significant other. I am not sure where I read this, but it was a fairly reliable etiquette resource. But maybe I am wrong! :-)
I agree with the previous commenter, it is absolutely ok in my opinion to invite a colleague without their significant other or spouse, especially if you are also inviting other colleagues. If they feel uncomfortable, they are welcome to decline the invitation, but the idea that you should exclude them because you are unable to invite their partner (whom you have never met) seems a little sad to me.
I’m sure if you explain to your colleagues what the situation is and that you want them there but need to keep numbers down, they’ll be happy to come in a group. And if not, it’s their loss! Have fun :)
heh. I actually just did an interview on this topic (singles and weddings). It should be published in the next couple of weeks. I have to disagree about the group invites (and you ladies know I am all about flexibility when it comes to etiquette), but don’t do it.
Great question, I hadn’t thought of how to tell people that you don’t want their significant others to come. I will be referring to this post at Weddiquette Blog. Thanks!
