Etiquette 101: The Small Wedding
Posted in elizabeth, etiquette by elizabeth
Nicole asks:
We are having a small wedding of only 50 people for close family and friends, however, contemplating having an engagement party - is it rude to invite people to the engagement party that will not be invited to the wedding?
Hi Nicole! I have a compromise for you. While it’s not appropriate to invite individuals to any parties prior to the wedding if they aren’t going to be a part of the Big Day, it would be in perfectly good taste to have a party after the wedding to celebrate with all of your friends and family! After-parties are generally done for destination weddings, but also apply in your situation. They are generally less formal events thrown by the newly married couple and, like engagement parties, are gift-optional.
I hope that helps!
E.
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Excellent recommendation!
I think this is a fabulous suggestion, Elizabeth.
I was recently faced with a similar dilemma and decided to rebel against etiquette… My parents and grandmother live in a very small town, and it was important to them to be able to have a dinner party prior to the wedding where they could invite all of their friends. My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves so it wasn’t financially possible to invite the whole town to our wedding — and our wedding is effectively a destination wedding for most everyone, since it’s out of state — so we made a potentially inappropriate call. But if it’s possible to have an after-party instead, that’s a fantastic option.
Elizabeth,
Thanks so much for the wonderful recommendation. I so had my heart set on a large informal engagement party at our house, and this is an opportunity for me to do something similar. Its just a bummer that I have to wait till after the wedding! ;( However, my main concern was not having anyone feel slighted about not coming to the wedding and I think this will alleviate some of that.
N
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