Comments on: Etiquette 101: Family http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2008/07/17/etiquette-101-family/ The wedding blog that is all about the details... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:49:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: nicole http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2008/07/17/etiquette-101-family/#comment-5002 nicole Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:00:41 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=2508#comment-5002 My fiance and I live in Chicago and all of our family and most close friends live in Kansas or other parts of the country. There was (still is) a whole lot of drama surrounding our decision to have our wedding in Chicago (financial reasons, laziness, whatever). We are having a second party to celebrate in Kansas a few months after. My fiance really wanted a small, small wedding, so our compromise is to limit our Chicago guest list as much as possible (our venue limits us to 150). So, some people are being invited to both events (so no one feels completely obligated to come to Chicago) and some people are only invited to the second event. We have decided we will make no apologies for our decisions because it is OUR wedding. That may sound selfish, but honestly, no one else has to be involved for the two of us to get married. (Can anyone tell I'm soooo on the fence of eloping, like, on a daily basis?) It really amazes me how selfish and ridiculous people become when weddings are involved. I totally agree with you, P & P! My fiance and I live in Chicago and all of our family and most close friends live in Kansas or other parts of the country. There was (still is) a whole lot of drama surrounding our decision to have our wedding in Chicago (financial reasons, laziness, whatever). We are having a second party to celebrate in Kansas a few months after. My fiance really wanted a small, small wedding, so our compromise is to limit our Chicago guest list as much as possible (our venue limits us to 150). So, some people are being invited to both events (so no one feels completely obligated to come to Chicago) and some people are only invited to the second event. We have decided we will make no apologies for our decisions because it is OUR wedding. That may sound selfish, but honestly, no one else has to be involved for the two of us to get married. (Can anyone tell I’m soooo on the fence of eloping, like, on a daily basis?)

It really amazes me how selfish and ridiculous people become when weddings are involved. I totally agree with you, P & P!

]]> By: Peonies and Polaroids http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2008/07/17/etiquette-101-family/#comment-4987 Peonies and Polaroids Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:21:28 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=2508#comment-4987 This is so difficult. We have had one family member inviting two other family members and their partner, none of whom we had any intention of inviting. We tried explaining very carefully that we were having a very small and intimate wedding but she wouldn't take no for an answer. So, they are all coming and I feel that our relationship with the initial relative has suffered for the complete lack of respect she has shown us and our wishes. Which is a shame because we got on well before the wedding. We thought that by giving in and accepting they would be coming the relative in question would appreciate that we had made an effort but she doesn't, she's just angry that the others weren't invited to begin with and that we told her that. Personally I wish we had stood up for our wishes because our relationship with her is damaged even though we backed down. I would rather it was damaged and that these people weren't coming to the wedding. I guess what I'm getting at is that if you back down don't expect people to appreciate it! Weddings can really bring out the best and the worst in people. This is so difficult. We have had one family member inviting two other family members and their partner, none of whom we had any intention of inviting. We tried explaining very carefully that we were having a very small and intimate wedding but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, they are all coming and I feel that our relationship with the initial relative has suffered for the complete lack of respect she has shown us and our wishes. Which is a shame because we got on well before the wedding. We thought that by giving in and accepting they would be coming the relative in question would appreciate that we had made an effort but she doesn’t, she’s just angry that the others weren’t invited to begin with and that we told her that.

Personally I wish we had stood up for our wishes because our relationship with her is damaged even though we backed down. I would rather it was damaged and that these people weren’t coming to the wedding.

I guess what I’m getting at is that if you back down don’t expect people to appreciate it!

Weddings can really bring out the best and the worst in people.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2008/07/17/etiquette-101-family/#comment-4973 Sarah Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:07:22 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=2508#comment-4973 I say don't feel guilty about inviting friends over family. Sometimes friends are all the family someone has, and that's totally fine! I say don’t feel guilty about inviting friends over family. Sometimes friends are all the family someone has, and that’s totally fine!

]]> By: Rachel http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2008/07/17/etiquette-101-family/#comment-4964 Rachel Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:34:17 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=2508#comment-4964 I think a casual after party - a few weeks or months after the wedding - is a great idea! Especially if one of the couple is from another town, and his family still lives there. We're thinking of doing this ourselves. I think a casual after party – a few weeks or months after the wedding – is a great idea! Especially if one of the couple is from another town, and his family still lives there.
We’re thinking of doing this ourselves.

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