In the Beginning…

There’s no better place to start than the beginning, so that’s where I’ll start – with an introduction. Back in May, on a beautiful, sunny, warm Memorial Day weekend, I finally married my husband after five and a half years of dating.

We met my second day of my freshman (his sophomore) year of college. Far from love at first sight, however, I thought my husband was a pompous jerk (and his impressions of me weren’t much better!). After our paths continued to cross, we slowly became acquaintances and then friends, but I wanted nothing more to do with him. In fact, my husband had to ask me out nine times before I would agree to go out with him on one date!

Unfortunately for us, our post-marriage living situation will be a bit unconventional, and because of it, the proposal was far from a surprise. At the time when he was thinking of proposing, he was in his third year of medical school (he graduated the weekend before our wedding), and as anyone involved with the medical school process knows, you often have very little say in where you wind up for residency, particularly if you pick a competitive field, like my husband. I happen to be pursuing a Ph.D. in oncology and am currently in my fourth year, with several years left to go, so we knew there was a very good chance that we would be living apart. Knowing this fact, rather than surprise me with a proposal, we chose to sit down and discuss the situation in detail – after all, starting a marriage out living apart for the first 3-4 years is a less than ideal situation.

Obviously, we decided to forge ahead. Since I knew he was planning on proposing, we actually went ahead and met with vendors, and had signed and booked our venue before he had even officially proposed! As it turned out, my husband is doing his one year internship here in D.C. where I am located, but will be moving several states away right around our one-year anniversary, and we’ll be living apart for the next 2-3 years until I finish my degree.

Welcome along for the journey as I highlight some of my favorite projects from the wedding, and share some tips that I learned. For me, the biggest challenge that I faced was just trying to get everything done on my own – I work 80-90 hours/week in the lab and do not live near my family or bridesmaids, so all my DIY projects were really all done by me, not distributed and done with the assistance of others. Furthermore, I had the task not only of planning a wedding long distance (D.C. to Philadelphia), but planning a wedding for a city in which I have never lived (husband’s hometown) which certainly created a few challenges! But, in the end, I wouldn’t change a thing – I was able to marry my husband, surrounded by my family and friends for one of the most important days of my life, and in the end, that is all that matters.

we heart your comments!

I can’t wait to hear about your planning! It’s nice to know there are others who are in the same situation as we are — he’s across the country in an orthopedics residency and i’m out west in a dental specialty program. We’re halfway through our 3 years apart (not to mention our 3 years apart during med/dent school) and the wedding will happen once I finish my program (2010!). I can’t wait!

Jenna writes... {November 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm}

Where are the pictures my dear? :) You amaze me. I made it through 10 months of long distance and felt like I ran a marathon. I guess that would mean what you are doing is like running around the world. Or something like it.

I’m so excited to follow your journey on this blog (and yours)!

BEL19 – I can certainly commiserate on the distance problems of residency! I think our families would have been happier if we waited until we were done and able to live together to get married, but my program does not have a finite end (I have to discover something new, so people graduate in 5.5-7.5, with the average of 6.5 years) so there would be no way to plan a wedding until I actually GRADUATED. And if we were still dating, we would be celebrating our 6-year dating anniversary next week… which means we could be hitting 9 or 10 years of dating before I finished and move to where he is, and then had to PLAN the wedding… and that just seemed TOO LONG! Plus, then I’d be afraid if we wanted to have children, there would be a lot of pressure age-wise to have children right away after getting married, and I don’t want that. So instead, we’ll have our distance with our marriage, and our families don’t like it. But, they’re not the ones in the marriage, so what can they do?

Jenna — they’ll be some pictures of my projects coming up, but not too many of the wedding itself. I promise, I WILL do recaps on my own blog at some point. I was trying to figure out if I could password protect just some posts but not others but I think it may get too complicated giving out passwords, so I may just put the posts up for 2 weeks at a time and then take them down.

Amanda, welcome aboard! I’ve been a big fan of yours over on the ‘Bee!

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