First comes love, then comes what?
March 3, 2009 · Posted in blogging, the planning process, what to wear, rings by kasia
Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy loves girl. Boy buys ring. Boy proposes to girl with the ring. Boy and girl plan the wedding.
…and so the story goes.
As I mentioned last week, my fiance came to Chicago last weekend to check out and book a wedding venue together. We have identified our #1, #2, and #3 venues and are working on the guest list to see if we can squeeze into #1. So our choice will have to wait until next week. Our decision is almost made and we are moving on to other important decisions, in our case, picking out an engagement ring.
I ALWAYS thought my engagement story would read like the first paragraph of this post. But actually…it is even better. My fiance proposed to me in Africa, the place that brought us together in the first place (we were Peace Corps volunteers there) and where I was working all of last year. He came to visit me in the Sahara Desert and given those circumstances, opted to propose with a “temporary ring” and then choose THE ring together when I got back to Chicago.
Within days of getting engaged, I realized I needed to set my priorities straight, and venue shopping was at the top of my list. However, now that that chapter is ALMOST done, I’ve moved my focus BACK to the ring. I would have been happy with ANY ring my fiance picked out and am happy with the temporary band, but he has explained that in addition to the precarious circumstances outlining our engagement in Africa and how dangerous and risky it would have been to bring a diamond, he wants to make the ring decision together since its as major of a life decision for him as us buying our first place together - in other words, he wants us both to be happy with it. And I am happy with that.
Because I have free reign though, I’ve become increasingly picky about every ring I try one - That band is too wide , this one has too much engraving, and this diamond just sits too high. But the main issue I am struggling with is that I am looking for an engagement ring that has an exact matching band. I want the ring to sit on the band like they were made for each other without one mm of space between them. And this ladies, is not an easy thing to find.
The original ring I liked was a classic, round brilliant, six prong solitaire. Since the setting is relatively inexpensive, we would focus on upgrading the diamond and making it as shiny as your eyes could take. This is a ring that would undoubtedly be passed down with delight for generations and generations. BUT, 6 prong round solitaires do NOT sit PERFECTLY with any band, and it was driving me nuts.
The other ring I am head over heels in love with is a round, brilliant micro-pave cut diamond. This ring FEELS like it belongs on my hand AND the best part is the wedding band slides underneath it LIKE A GLOVE. It sits PERFECTLY below the engagement ring, with no mm to spare. I love this ring, but am worried I won’t in 50 years? Is this possible? To give credit to me, I’ve been eye-ing this ring for over a year and still melt every time I try it on. So I think it may be the one.
{Ritani}
In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on how to fit a 6 prong round e-ring with a band PERFECTLY please let me know :) I am beginning to get sick of the skeptical glances at me when I view a venue or try on a dress without my bling on. Anyone else engaged and NOW shopping for rings, or have another unconventional ring story? Who says we need to follow “the rules” whatever they may be :) Your wedding is special and unique to you.
My husband proposed to me without a ring at first because he wanted to know what I would say about the timing and everything. After I said yes (over a lunch of clucks and fries at Red Robin, no less) he took me out ring shopping.
My ring was custom-made in New Zealand so I had to wait for 6 weeks before Wes could propose to me with the real ring. I started planning anyway, though, and actually carried around a polaroid shot of the ring with me as my proof.
People thought I was crazy but I knew it (and my husband’s perfect proposal) were worth waiting for ;)
Exactly. Everyone’s lives our different so why should everyone’s wedding planning format be the same. As long as you and your fiance are on the same page it is the right format. I love both rings!
I am beginning to get sick of the skeptical glances at me when I view a venue or try on a dress without my bling on.
Wow, that’s obnoxious behavior on the part of those serving you. I’ve known brides who didn’t want an engagement ring and only wore a wedding ring after the ceremony, and I’ve heard of tons of brides who take their time getting a ring because they want the right one, it’s a family heirloom, or they are even designing it themselves.
In my own situation, we want to make sure things are a little more stable on the job security front before we make any large purchases. However, I know enough of what I want to know that I’ll probably have to design it myself. If I happened to find myself on the receiving end of glares or any attitude because a ring wasn’t on my finger at that very moment, I’d take my money elsewhere. It’s not that hard for them to put on a smile and serve you as they would any other bride-to-be. If they are going to change how they treat a woman based on the status of her bling, then they don’t deserve the commission.
Yes, I am beginning to realize this too. I haven’t been able to shake off one on-site coordinators skeptical glares and questions although I’ve been trying too since the venue is so lovely.
I had a similar problem with finding a wedding band to go with my engagement ring setting. I was skeptical of contour wedding bands, but once I tried one on it was perfect! We bought one that has a slight curve in it, it’s not really V-shaped. Here’s a link to an example:
http://www.jared.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product1|10451|10001|-1|531004202|19061|19061.19079.19111
I definitely recommend trying one - even if you’re skeptical like I was! I was also really skeptical of diamond bands and ended up getting one that I love. Good luck!
My fiance proposed to me with a temporary ring (actually that six prong ring above in yellow gold with a CZ). I’ve been wearing it for 4 months now, I’m not sure how I’m going to explain to everyone about my new sapphire ring once I get it next month! No one asked if my CZ was real or not, so no one knows that it isn’t!
Anyway, just wanted to suggest that one option for getting a wedding band for your tiffany setting is to get a wrap around ring (I think that’s what they call it) that is a band with a little curve at the top that allows it to sit snugly against your ring. I’ve seen these in a bunch of pictures. Fortunately for me, my new ring is set up a bit higher and I can have a straight band to go with it (that was a requirement for me, too!). Good luck - both rings are beautiful!
My ring is a heart shaped pink sapphire with diamonds on the sides (similar to the one in brides a few months back) I love the ring, but it doesn’t fit with my band. I finally just sized my rings so that the band sits under the bottom point of the heart, but I wanted a tiny band. I don’t wear much jewelry anyway. Pearls I bought in India, a few heirloom pieces, and the jewelry J has bought me since we’ve been together.
I find that I don’t mind the band under my ring. No, they don’t fit perfectly, but I wouldn’t trade either for the world. And I’ll probably never “upgrade” my ring. This one is far too special.
I tried that Ritani ring on as well and I also loved how the band slipped so perfectly underneath! Oh, and I hear you on the skeptical glances… it’s really rude and makes things really uncomfortable!
We found my ring together when we were on vacation, but my fiance wanted to do a “real proposal,” so we started planning our wedding before he actually gave me my ring. Actually, my ring looks a LOT like the Ritani ring you’re looking at, only with side diamonds. Personally, I can’t imagine giving up my beautiful vintage ring for anything else. If you melt when you try it on, go for it!! If your experience is anything like mine, total strangers will stop you to tell you how gorgeous your ring is. We’re getting shadow bands custom made, so if the one you love already comes with a band, even better!!! Based on the way you talk about it (and my own experience) I say definitely, definitely go for the Ritani — you won’t regret it!
Get the ring that when your put it on - you don’t want to take it off. Then you will know.
i have the ritani ring and absolutely adore it! my husband picked it out and since i’ve been wearing it for ~3 1/2 years, i haven’t seen another ring remotely close to it. it sits low and the way the bands match up is beautiful.
I have a ring but am not engaged. Yeah, you heard me.
My boyfriend and I were strolling through an antique show (he collects rare books) and THE ring just popped out at me. It is a 1920’s Art Deco style ring but when we got it appraised my jeweler told me the center stone is much older (possibly mid 1800s). We didn’t go to the show to buy a ring and we discussed whether I wanted to just wear the ring and call us engaged or whether I wanted a “real” proposal. Thinking that the convention center isn’t really a great proposal site, I voted for the “real” proposal so the ring sits in a safe until the time is right. None of my family or friends know we have it.
I have my fiance’s grandmother’s original 4-prong setting and the matching band - I also knew the proposal was coming and had started thinking about things. he had me go try on rings to figure out if her setting is the one i wanted (i love her and it means so much to be wearing it - of course i wanted it!). I thought I wanted the 6 prong on the simple band, but the jeweler my fiance knows said that, unless it’s a really really big rock, it actually takes away from how much light can get in and sparkle (mine is .75 carats). I wanted the band to sit flush, so he made the new head sit pretty high and then notched out a very small portion of the band so that it slides right up to the e-ring band.
My fiance and I decided to go with a moissanite ring in a palladium setting — more affordable than diamond and platinum but same great look. We found both options together at http://www.moissaniteco.com and I highly recommend them. One of the benefits of moissanite is that it can actually be heated to higher temperatures than diamond, so the setting in the prongs can be stronger. We also got a HUGE (almost too big) ring with three stones, almost 2 carats total, for just over 2K instead of 40K. There’s a great site someone made that you can check out, diamondssuck.com. :)
And actually, I’ve heard it’s best to go to a venue without your ring on because otherwise you can be judged for the size of your stone, and people can charge you that infamous wedding markup. I take mine off, put it in my pocket, then put it back on when I leave a location.
What I cannot believe is that you were
1. In the peace corp, in Africa
2. Worked with Africans
And are buying a diamond ring!!! You, of all people, should know that nearly all diamonds are blood diamonds, overpriced rocks, controlled by a monstrous monopoly known as De Beers.
The diamond trade harms Africa greatly, and yet you are still buying a diamond! Why?
My life is dedicated to helping those in need in Africa - not just a donation or decision not to buy a diamond. Clearly, my decisions are educated based on my very personal connection with the continent and I would never have purchased a diamond mined in Sierra Leone or Liberia.
