Good morning, dear readers! I hope everyone’s week is going smoothly and quickly…we’re speeding toward Friday! I’m so incredibly forlorn today. The posts I’ve been crafting…a from-scratch lemon buttercream cake, DIY hairstyle, calligraphy and invitations…have all been thwarted. My apartment has opened up and swallowed my digital camera cable, so I have about 45 pictures that I can’t upload! I’ve turned everything upside down in search of it, to no avail. I’m considering splurging on a new digital SLR with my tax refund… but I dream.
So this week, I thought I’d address something more personal: the bridal shower.
Let me start out by saying…I’ve never liked showers. I love getting together with girlfriends, eating great food, sharing belly laughs. Never (personally) enjoyed games, quizzes, the opening (and forced oohs and aahs) of dozens of gifts, or holding up skimpy lingerie in front of grandmothers. In my mind, the women in my life are already doing so much for me…helping make decisions, pick music, let me lean on them when I’m feeling a tad stressed, flying in for my wedding, buying gifts… I mean, do I really need more? Especially considering that our wedding is a destination wedding…the only night we’d be able to throw the shower is the night before the rehearsal dinner, which is also the day our flowers will be arriving and needing to be prepped. Not to mention, I don’t need any more things to bring back with me halfway across the country! It all just seemed like a bit too much for me.
Needless to say, my decision was met with quite a bit of indignation. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you’re not having a shower? But this is your only chance!” Sigh. This was taken to the point where my future mother-in-law decided to throw one…with or without me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my FMIL. We get along great, and she is simply awesome. I know she had my best intentions in mind. But the thought of it just makes me shudder and shrivel up in stress. I’ve been trying to come up with alternatives all week, and got this great idea from IndieBride...
From Simon and Ruby’s Etsy Shop
to throw a blue bead party. This is just such an amazing idea. The women all get together, and in lieu of gifts, each brings a single blue bead. Sometime during the course of the shindig, everyone sits in a circle, and each goes around and gives their one major piece of advice or words of wisdom, as they add their blue bead to the string. At the end, you have a string of beautiful blue beads to wear on your wedding day (and beyond!), and a bunch of wonderful advice.
So we’ll still be having a get-together for all the women…because I have some amazing, strong women in my life who I really want to spend time with! But it will be on my terms, which is such a huge relief.
Did you have a traditional shower, lovely readers? Did you enjoy it? Or will you be heading off the beaten path a bit?
-B
What a great idea! I love the thought of gathering advice and a small sentimental gift from loved ones. I myself did have a traditional wedding shower, games and all. My sister and sis-in-law planned it and were so excited, I couldn’t say no. It ended up being a lot of fun, because after the games my family all gathered around laughing and telling stories of married life.
How did SHE have YOUR best intentions in HER mind? That doesn’t make any sense.
Why not have a small shower with no games…that way everybody is happy. OK, you might not be happy, buy you’re being a good DIL. :) Plus…who doesn’t love presents and champagne. Come on!! ;)
I completely agree with your view of showers. As a person with 5 close friends getting married in the next year–all in different regions of the country–it is financially exhausting to give 2 presents to each couple/bride and travel to the wedding. I love the idea of a get together not centered around opening gifts!
I had three wedding showers thrown for me and considered them a tremendous blessing. I was 20 and my husband 24 when we got married, and while we had both lived away from home at college, we owned very little that was appropriate for our new house together. The cookware, linens, home decor, etc. we received at those showers have remained a day to day reminder of the love and support of our friends and family (besides being tremendously useful!). I was also prayed over at one shower, received a book of recipes and advice at one that I look through often, and got to “re-meet” relatives that I hadn’t seen in years before I had to greet them at my wedding!
I understand that it’s a little uncomfortable to open all those piles of gifts while people watch, and shower games–yech. I definitely hear you about not wanting to financially strain anyone too. I made sure to register for gifts in all price ranges and tried to express equal gratitude for a $5 pancake turner and a $100 food processor. I was particularly concerned about my bridesmaids spending too much overall, so I helped pay for their dresses and made it clear that they did not need to bring a gift for each shower they attended. They got creative and got me some small things, like stuffed animals to “represent” each of them that my 2 year old daughter now enjoys!
Point of my rambling–showers can make for wonderful memories and can truly help launch your life together, so I understand why your FMIL wants you to have one. :) I think your bead party idea is great too, especially considering that your wedding is a destination wedding and the logistics involved. Just some thoughts to add to the mix!
I have not had a shower myself but did attend a paired down version that focused more on socializing and eating (like you spoke about at the beginning of your post) instead of the games and the oohing and aahhying.
I think that these days there are enough occasions between engagement party and wedding to ask guests for gifts. Most often than not, guests feel torn between going to support the bride and ditching as a result of the necessity to lay out more dough for a gift.
Your blue bead idea is a happy medium between a get-together/celebration for the bride and something meaningful.
Right now I live about 15 minutes away from my fiance’s family and an entire state away from our entire bridal party, my friends, and any of my family members. My mother-in-law-to be, her daughter and her sister offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was so awkward. I didn’t know ANYONE at the shower more than just as a passing aquaintance from being introduced to them. I dont like being the center of attention, I dont like small talk, and I REALLY dont like cheesy games. I mean, it was a nice gesture I guess but they didn’t even ask me what I would have liked to do for MY shower. I love to cook and so I had dreamed of a recipe themed shower or something like that. In fact, I even asked if I could help plan it and they wouldnt let me. I think it was more of an excuse for them to get to have a party with their family and friends. I think showers could be a lot of fun, but I think a lot of times they turn out like mine did. Something you feel obligated to go to, and not the kind of party you were hoping for. So I think your blue bead idea is such a nice change from the traditional “showers”.