Comments on: “But you MUST have a shower…”

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 03:23:05 +0000

Right now I live about 15 minutes away from my fiance’s family and an entire state away from our entire bridal party, my friends, and any of my family members. My mother-in-law-to be, her daughter and her sister offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was so awkward. I didn’t know ANYONE at the shower more than just as a passing aquaintance from being introduced to them. I dont like being the center of attention, I dont like small talk, and I REALLY dont like cheesy games. I mean, it was a nice gesture I guess but they didn’t even ask me what I would have liked to do for MY shower. I love to cook and so I had dreamed of a recipe themed shower or something like that. In fact, I even asked if I could help plan it and they wouldnt let me. I think it was more of an excuse for them to get to have a party with their family and friends. I think showers could be a lot of fun, but I think a lot of times they turn out like mine did. Something you feel obligated to go to, and not the kind of party you were hoping for. So I think your blue bead idea is such a nice change from the traditional “showers”.

By: sarah

sarah — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:14:43 +0000

I have not had a shower myself but did attend a paired down version that focused more on socializing and eating (like you spoke about at the beginning of your post) instead of the games and the oohing and aahhying.

I think that these days there are enough occasions between engagement party and wedding to ask guests for gifts. Most often than not, guests feel torn between going to support the bride and ditching as a result of the necessity to lay out more dough for a gift.
Your blue bead idea is a happy medium between a get-together/celebration for the bride and something meaningful.

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:33:46 +0000

I had three wedding showers thrown for me and considered them a tremendous blessing. I was 20 and my husband 24 when we got married, and while we had both lived away from home at college, we owned very little that was appropriate for our new house together. The cookware, linens, home decor, etc. we received at those showers have remained a day to day reminder of the love and support of our friends and family (besides being tremendously useful!). I was also prayed over at one shower, received a book of recipes and advice at one that I look through often, and got to “re-meet” relatives that I hadn’t seen in years before I had to greet them at my wedding!

I understand that it’s a little uncomfortable to open all those piles of gifts while people watch, and shower games–yech. I definitely hear you about not wanting to financially strain anyone too. I made sure to register for gifts in all price ranges and tried to express equal gratitude for a $5 pancake turner and a $100 food processor. I was particularly concerned about my bridesmaids spending too much overall, so I helped pay for their dresses and made it clear that they did not need to bring a gift for each shower they attended. They got creative and got me some small things, like stuffed animals to “represent” each of them that my 2 year old daughter now enjoys!

Point of my rambling–showers can make for wonderful memories and can truly help launch your life together, so I understand why your FMIL wants you to have one. :) I think your bead party idea is great too, especially considering that your wedding is a destination wedding and the logistics involved. Just some thoughts to add to the mix!

By: Elena

Elena — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:08:06 +0000

I completely agree with your view of showers. As a person with 5 close friends getting married in the next year–all in different regions of the country–it is financially exhausting to give 2 presents to each couple/bride and travel to the wedding. I love the idea of a get together not centered around opening gifts!

By: Kate@ Kids and Cocktails

Kate@ Kids and Cocktails — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:08:11 +0000

Why not have a small shower with no games…that way everybody is happy. OK, you might not be happy, buy you’re being a good DIL. :) Plus…who doesn’t love presents and champagne. Come on!! ;)

By: atk

atk — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:48:47 +0000

How did SHE have YOUR best intentions in HER mind? That doesn’t make any sense.

By: Robyn Durst

Robyn Durst — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 20:36:03 +0000

What a great idea! I love the thought of gathering advice and a small sentimental gift from loved ones. I myself did have a traditional wedding shower, games and all. My sister and sis-in-law planned it and were so excited, I couldn’t say no. It ended up being a lot of fun, because after the games my family all gathered around laughing and telling stories of married life.