DJ and I have lived together for just over two years, since before we were engaged. When we were ready to move in together he was ready to buy. I was not. I was sort of adamantly against us owning property together before we were married, although I had no problem with living together unmarried. We’d recently seen friends of ours go through a breakup where there was joint property ownership, and I wouldn’t wish that trial on anyone. There are no laws to protect you if you aren’t married. If your mortgage partner doesn’t pay their share, guess what? You’re liable, and there’s no separation agreement to divide bills (in my state…)
So our condo is in DJ’s name only. Not because I thought we might break up, but because if we did that would be one less horrible thing to handle. We also shopped within “his” price range. If for any reason I weren’t paying the mortgage, he could swing it. If we’d broken up, I could have moved out without him selling or finding a roommate in a hurry. If living together had been awful, we’d have been heartbroken but not homeless. It’s also comforting in this job market that we could get by on one salary if necessary.
We’ve never treated it like “his” place, though. We’ve made improvements together to our home. But – I don’t have a renter’s agreement, which in a really ugly situation could be useful. DJ doesn’t have any legal right to charge me rent, nor do I have any legal right to live in our home. I also have no legal claim to any appreciation or reimbursement for any improvements we’ve made. Those were risks I was willing to take, but writing up a basic agreement for those things probably isn’t a bad idea.
Did you buy property or share a lease before marriage? I know I’m a big worrier – did you have a plan for the worst case?
We moved in together after about a year of dating…we rented a 2-bedroom apartment. Worst-case scenario – we deal with the break-up and live out the rest of our lease in separate bedrooms. Just last month, “we” purchased a home…however, due to my low credit (because I have never had much in my name), we opted to get the mortgage in his name only. Immediately after we get married, we will have a lawyer add my name to the house (not mortgage) in case of the worst-case scenario…that is for truly worst-case scenario (death!) Obviously, this means we also only used his income for the house budget, so he would do okay without me, too. This is definitely not HIS home though…ever since we moved in together, we’ve had an “ours” mentality on our things and bills. :)
We had been dating for 4 years and living together for one when “I” bought our home. His credit was nearly non-existent, and it just made more sense for it to only be in my name. We had talked about doing it in both, but we also weren’t actively talking about marriage yet… so it just didn’t make sense to do it “together”, even though we really were. It’s been a bit of a sore spot for him the past three years because he wishes the townhouse was in his name as well, but it hasn’t been too big of a deal.
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we moved in together about 2 years ago, signing a 2 year lease. I told the dude that we had two years to decide if we were going to marry or move on, and that if we weren’t planning to marry then I wouldn’t renew the lease after 2 years. He proposed this past January, about 3 months before our landlady approached us about resigning (which we did). We also made sure that our rent was low enough that one or the other could carry the rent if needed. Which we’ve learned is good, since I lost my job about a month ago.
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i bought a house with my boyfriend in October. we plan to get married at someone point. buytfor now we are happy with our house. neither one of us had a problem with purchasing a home even though we are not married. we know we will be together with or without a ring or a marriage license.
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