If You Threw a Party, Invited Everyone You Knew*
June 11, 2009 · Posted in bridal shower by julia
DJ’s mom is hosting a shower for me in August, along with two bridesmaids. (The third is out of state and also planning a wedding, so definitely off the hook.) DJ’s mom is really excited about it, mostly because she wants to use a set of girly luncheon dishes she bought some time ago but hasn’t had occasion to use. How cute is that? I love her.
BUT. She’s asking me for a guest list, and I am terrified. It’s not that I have no friends (I do, really.) It’s not that I’m stage shy of opening gifts in public (I am, but that’s not it.)
The thing is – my, this is embarrassing – once I threw a party and no one came. No one! I’m that girl. People said yes, no one showed.
That can’t happen twice to one person, right? Right? Let’s not even get into my bachelorette/hen party fears.
* To the tune of Thank You For Being a Friend, also known as the Golden Girls’ theme. No wonder no one showed?
I thought I was the only one! It was one of my most mortifying experiences *ever.* My aunt organized a big shindig with lots of catered food to celebrate a milestone in my life… and of the 30+ people I invited, only about 4 showed. It was terrible, and my aunt was upset that she had ordered so much food that wasn’t being eaten.
My take away message: talk up the party *like crazy* in the weeks leading up to it. I’m a little shy about making a big deal about myself, but if someone’s gonna throw you a party, it’s all about making a big deal about yourself. Those two bridesmaids can help recruit people and make sure they show.
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Wow, thank you thank you thank you for this post!! I too have this fear! For my 16th birthday party, my wonderful parents rented a HUGE hall, and about 8 people came. Now my mom is worried the wedding will turn out that way, but I’m more worried about the bachelorette party. I have full faith though that my maid of honor will work the phones and make sure it’s a special night :)
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I had to laugh (in empathy) at the party experience. It’s a good part of the reason I don’t want to have a shower in my hometown. I live in another city now and nearly all of my childhood friends have moved away. My mom and one neighbor, who has known me all my life, are insisting that they throw me a shower and invite some of the neighborhood ladies — “and of course, invite all your friends! It will be SO fun!” I’m touched, but I have no friends in my hometown anymore! They are scattered all over the country. I imagine that in this economy it will be pretty unlikely that friends will fly in for a shower, nor do I want to ask them to when we’ll be asking people to travel to the wedding a few months later. So, I explained this to my mother and just explained to our neighbor that my work schedule and wedding planning are keeping me so busy that I can’t find the time to come home before the wedding (which is pretty much the truth). A major part of my reluctance, though, is the anxiety of having to explain to a room full of (older) neighborhood ladies why none of my friends showed up!
I feel you sister - I really do. The only thing I can say is that the important people in your life will always reveal themselves by turning up whatever. Besides, I think most people mature as they grow up/get older… or maybe I just pick my friends more carefully than I used to….
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