I shall not judge another “2-dress Bride.”
June 22, 2009 · Posted in what to wear, gowns by abby
Okay…I know what you are thinking. “How can yet another girl be a 2 Dress Bride.”
Well, technically I am not one… yet!
To be honest, I’m having second thoughts about my wedding dress.
I’m not sure if it is “wedding” enough. I also worry that I’m going to feel a bit self conscious in it if the wii fit doesn’t take off more pounds. The way the dress is meant to fit is not very forgiving.
If you remember, I bought this sleek little dress at BCBG after getting fed up trying on ridiculously expensive gowns. I was at a point where I didn’t want give the wedding industry the satisfaction of capturing yet another bride.
My dress has been hanging in my closet since March and I get a chance to look at it every day. When I first tried it on, I thought that i could definitely work with it and turn it into wedding material.
I was constantly asking my fiance for approval (yes, he’s seen the dress.) Ger would always say to me that its beautiful but I need to feel like a bride in it and that this day only comes along once in a lifetime. The words resonated in my head. Did I really feel like a Bride in this dress? Was this the one?
I secretly began to freak out. Could this possibility be happening? Of all the stories I read about “2 dress brides.” I thought I had escaped this phenomena. I guess not.
On Friday I made the decision to ease my mind and just try on a couple more dresses. I was hoping that this would only strengthen my decision to keep my present wedding dress.
On Saturday I was back in Priscilla of Boston trying on dresses. I fell in love with Piper in the Vineyard Collection. I liked that it was much more modern then the previous Priscilla of Boston dresses. I definitely felt more “bride” like but was it worth the thousands of dollars more? Very good question.
After sleeping on it, I realized that there was something that I didn’t like. It was in fact, not the one.
I did more searching and somehow stumbled upon the Vera Wang dresses I tried on previously.
via Brides.com {source}
I loved the way this one fit and I felt more comfortable with the straps. It is very similar to the Priscilla of Boston Piper dress.
The next dress I tried on was one of my favorites as well.
via Brides.com {source}
This dress had a lot of the same features of the Piper and Vera Wang. I loved the flirty style of the straps, how natural it felt and how flattering it was. I didn’t feel that I needed to change a lot about me to feel beautiful in it.
This week I’m going to set up an appointment at Vera Wang to try on these dresses again. Both of these dresses were at the March Sample Sale and from the 2006 Spring Line. I only hope I can find them again!
The light at the end of the tunnel reminds me that luckily, if I do decide to buy a new dress, I won’t lose a lot on the first dress. I can certainly shorten it and wear it for a another event!
So what do you think? Should I keep my orignial dress that I got at a stunning price or buy another one that has more of a wedding look to it for a much higher cost?
Please help!!
Um, I love your original dress! I think you should stick with it. You look super beautiful in it, and it has way more personality than the other ones!
Since you have so much time (and I can relate, I’m July 2010,) I don’t think it’d hurt to keep looking if you don’t feel settled with the dress. Maybe if you focus on another aspect of the wedding, your dream dress will fall right in your lap just when you aren’t looking!
I found my dress when I was at the point where I didn’t want to try on or see another wedding dress, which was after trying on about 40 gowns, so don’t worry if you try on a lot and still don’t see anything. And if you don’t see anything, then you have a perfectly chic dress ready for a wedding.
Good luck, show us pics after you go to Vera!!
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I agree with Fraola…and you could always invest in some lingerie that nips and tucks to give you a smooth profile under the gown if that’s what you’re worried about.
Your original dress is very pretty, looks great on you, and the price was good too. However, I do love those last two dresses… not so much the Priscilla one. I think they’re more bridal, as opposed to an evening dress that happens to be white. If you did fall in love with one of the more expensive dresses (and if your budget allows you to buy one), you can either resell this one, OR hack it off at the knees and make an awesome rehearsal dinner dress…eh? That could work. As I’m on the hunt for a dress, the most important thing to me (aside from do I look amazing) is can I dance and move in this in a normal way? I like that the Vera dresses have a fuller skirt, which I think is easier for party time :)
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I was a 2 dress bride too for a similar reason. I didn’t feel my first dress was bridal enough. I did buy a second more bridal dress which I was much happier with.
You’ll only get one wedding. I would wear something that makes you happy!
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I LOVE your original BCBG beauty!! You look stunning in it, and I think it has way more personality than the other bridal gowns… I have a thing for sleek, modern, dresses! And PS… you look amazing in it NOW… wii or no wii! I know it can be hard with the never ending onslaught of bridal images that come across the computer screen/magazing pages, but it is how you wear the dress that projects bride. I think you look very confident and romantic in the BCBG gown, while the other puffier dress was wearing you a bit. Either way, you will look stunning! Just don’t worry about things being “bridal” enough… wear whatever you fall in love with!! Good luck girl!
I was a 2 dress bride because my first one I got off ebay had water damage from my closet leaking. I got the same comments with my first dress. Both my mother and mother in law lamented it was not ‘bridal’ enough. So when I went to consignment shops for my second dress(I only had two months and all the bridal shops told me there was not enough time to order) I ended up getting a much more ‘bridal’ dress….though since it was second hand it was only $400.
Honestly, do what you want. What about going with an out there veil or headpiece to feel more ‘made up’ and special? Even if you sell or wear your first dress, most likely, your going to be out some $$…can your budget take it? Would you rather spend it on a photographer of your dreams or an amazing place for your honeymoon? You look *killer* in your first dress.
I am wearing my first, water stained dress to my second wedding where my wife and I are getting legally married now that we are moving to Connecticut because we are just going to the courthouse. So do what YOU want.
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I LOVE ,LOVE ,LOVE the first one… stick to your gut instincts… they are never wrong!
xoxo,
Kate
The Feds
Wedding Collections
oh, hon, the original dress is FANtastic! my advice is to STOP looking at your dress. you’re seeing it way too much, so it’s becoming too common place to you - not what you think your wedding dress should be. put it away and don’t look at it for a couple months. and don’t look at photos of it either. you’ll love it again.
I didn’t care for your first dress when I first saw it when you posted it weeks ago. I was sad for you.
I LOVE all of your alternatives, however. If you’re having doubts, they’re only going to increase. Get another dress that you love. Your first dress isn’t as flattering as the others - although it looks nice for more normal occasions, it doesn’t look as nice for your wedding. It looks like you’re going TO a wedding, not being the main event.
Your fiance is trying to tell you he thinks you should get another dress, in a nice wonderful, subtle way.
I haven’t bought a dress yet but I too wanted something less bridal, but the more involved I become in my wedding the more I want something more special to reflect this crazy today. What really convinced me was when I went to a wedding where you couldn’t even tell the bride was the bride - her dress wasn’t distinct enough to seperate her from the others. That being said, all your dresses including the first are beautiful. Stick to your instincts and do what feels right to you.
I love your original dress on you. So pretty. My advice to you is that on the day of, you WILL feel like a bride because you ARE a bride. Don’t worry about that aspect of it. When you have your hair and makeup all done, you will glow because you are marrying Ger and no gown or anything else will make you or not make you a bride.
Plus, right now it feels like it is important to spend the extra money on a dress, but seriously, the day goes by SO fast. The fact that you got such a gorgeous dress the first time around for a good price is a blessing.
Pray about it and do what you know you need to.
P.S. My advice comes from a 10 day newlywed. Take it or leave it, as I am now on the other side of the planning pressures.
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omg. it would be a sin for you not to wear your original dress. it is so gorgeous, and although i don’t know the “look” you are going for, it is so classic, timeless, and glam. i think one of the problems might be that you look at it every day - i did the same thing with my jewelry…i got sick of it and wondered if it was really what i wanted after all.
the original dress is SO gorgeous and will be SO bridal once you add some jewelry, hair, and makeup. and i think you look great in it as is. (although all my previously-married BMs tell me the “magic of the bride” occurs the last week, when you magically drop at least 3-4 lbs).
go try the veras on if you want to give yourself peace of mind. i think your original dress is stunning - regardless of if it was $2K or $200. i’ll have to check back to see what your decision is!
(i just looked back at the pics you like again - it seems they are detailed on top and have a somewhat-mermaid bottom. that seems to be the only major difference between what you have and what you are newly looking at. i don’t think the poofiness of a skirt makes or breaks the dress!)
Certainly not the way to look at it for everyone, but…which one will you look back on in the pictures and like better? Out of all of them, I actually like the Vera or the Piper…
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I think your original dress is fantabulous and bride like. I don’t think you should doubt your choice. It’s beautiful.
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WOW! I appreciate everyone’s comments! It really is great how supportive everyone is and how helpful your suggestions can be.
Stay tuned to next week where I tell you the latest about the dress search!
Abby xox
Abby’s most recent blog post: I shall not judge another “2-dress Bride.”
Get the Vera. It is stunning and you will feel like the bride in that dress!! And don’t tell your fiance. Or show him. Just show up in it and blow his mind!
What about looking at other bridal gowns that aren’t as expensive as priscilla or vera? I mean, there’s an in-between, isn’t there? How about trying on some mid-range gowns? That way you’re not totally blowing the budget on a designer gown if you’re not 100%…
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Hey, so there’s a dress that is either yours, but altered at the top, or a very similar one in the summer ‘09 real wedding section of the martha stewart weddings magazine. it looks great, and very bridal with the addition of flowers/accessories. check it out (p. 70). I also agree that if you go looking you may want to widen your scope a bit to look at less pricey designs, especially if you have a while. Anyway, I saw that and leapt out of bed (reading myself to sleep) to post about it. now, goodnight!
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Get the other dress. It’s your wedding and you can wear as many dresses as you want. Mostly, get it because if you question it so much now, you won’t be happy later. You’re not happy and this matters so it’s ok, go shopping!
I hope you got to go to Priscilla of Boston last week! But sample sales are too awesome and you can definitely get a not crazy priced dress. The BCBG would be a FANTASTIC reception dress or end of evening dress. Good luck!
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oh dear. I won’t judge, I think every bride goes through some dress doubt. If you want something more than the dress you have, go for it, it isn’t as if you will regret spending thousands on the first one, as you didn’t. That’s a two dress bride I can’t support.
Go forth and ravage those sample sales!
For the record, the dress you have looks fabulous.
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Honestly I think you should stick with your first choice! It suits your body perfectly and you look gorgeous in it. Maybe you should tuck it away so your not looking at it all the time and second guessing yourself?
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I had a similar experience with my wedding dress. Mine happened to be the first dress I tried on, a week after I got engaged. It was not at a bridal salon surrounded by bridesmaids, but rather, the sale rack at Bloomingdales all alone. I was curious to see what I’d look like in a long white gown. I really had no intention of buying it until the second I put it on. I loved it. I bought it. 200 bucks. No refunds. I spent the next seven months before my wedding second guessing my decision. It didn’t feel like a wedding dress to me. I finally came to realize that there is no other occasion in which I would wear this beautiful long white dress than my own wedding and that the only reason I was having doubts was because I did not have a traditional experience buying it. I did not pick it out from a sea of other white dresses. I was not surrounded by people cooing over me, asking me to turn around, and sticking veils on me.
I think your dress is formal, and elegant, and very “bridey”. And most importantly, it looks great on you. But if it was the price that sold you and not the dress, keep looking. And if you do find that this was not really your dream dress and you can afford to, I would recommend donating it to a cause like Brides Against Breast Cancer. You’ll be guaranteed to feel like you made a good decision knowing that your unwanted dress will help grant the wish of a woman with breast cancer.
I don’t think your first dress doesn’t look ‘bridal’ enough. And anyway bridal look is more than a dress. It is tuned by some nice accessories ( http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_type=category&category=weddings&search_query=hair+styles ), make up, way you wear your hair and how you feel about yourself.
So long story short:) It doesn’t metter how beautifull the dress are if you don’t feel right about them, you should feel like a goddess,queen, princess, fairy, adorable, beautifull…
If you want to look for a new dress and don’t spent fortune on it, you may also try searching on ebay, http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WeddingParties/womens.jsp, or http://www.etsy.com/category/weddings.
So good luck for you!
I just saw this on The Knot and thought maybe it would help you with your decision making. I think it’s a beautiful dress! http://realweddingawards.theknot.com/photo/view/Vintage-Glamour-in-Fredericksburg-TX
I think your first dress is very bridal and very chic. I have a feeling if you tried is on with a veil (as you have on in some of these pictures), it would probably feel more bridal. If I had to take a guess, having it hanging in your closet where you can see it everyday might be making it feel a bit less “special”. Why not hang it in a garment bag and ask a friend to hold on to it?
But, in reality, what really matters is how you *feel*. You deserve to feel like a bride. And if buying a certain type of dress will help that along, then so be it. I just wonder if feeling like a bride is really something that can truly be bought or if it something that comes from within.
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I was also a 2-dress bride… and it’s not the two dresses that matters, what matters is that it’s your wedding day. Keep searching until you are ABSOLUTELY sure. In the end, I bought a new dress a month and a half before my wedding (panic), but ended up with exactly what I wanted. With all the work and planning that goes into your wedding - make sure you feel just as special and radient as everything else. It’s your day after all! :)
http://practicallyhitched.blogspot.com/2009/04/guilty-as-charged-im-two-dress-kind-of.html
I was just at a wedding where the bride wore the BCBG dress and it certainly was bridal. In fact, I was jealous that she looked so awesome and paid such a reasonable price for the dress, since my dress cost so much more!
I love your original wedding dress, it is very glamorous and you look stunning in it! Don’t get another one this looks perfect!
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