Traditional vs. Non-traditional.
July 3, 2009 · Posted in customs and traditions by shelley
Every time I go to describe any part of the wedding we’re planning, the one word that keeps coming up is different. I really want our wedding to be different from other weddings our guests have been to. I want our dear friends and family to always look back on our wedding not just as a great time they had, but also as one that was really special and was a true representation of our personalities and tastes.
For example, I wanted our venue to be some place different, not your typical hotel or reception hall.
I wanted our photography to be different: artsy and edgy.
I wanted the food to be flavorful and interesting. No chicken and roasted potatoes here, no sir.
I wanted our flowers to incorporate bits of twigs and feathers and craspedia.
(You’d think I’ve been to a million weddings in my day but I haven’t. In fact, I haven’t been to a single wedding since I was too young to remember! Which has made planning tough at times but that’s another story.)
Because I’m trying to make our wedding extra unique and special, I think it would be pretty easy to label me as a “non-traditional” bride. And in a lot of ways, I am. I’m not wearing a long veil, I’m wearing a birdcage veil with a splay of feathers. My wedding shoes are a dusty gray in line with our wedding scheme. I’m planning on walking down the aisle to a contemporary folks song (you’ll have to wait until after the wedding to hear that update!). I don’t think we’ll be doing a flower or garter toss either.
We aren’t even doing favors (gasp!).
But I don’t think it’s as cut and dry as traditional and non-traditional. So much of our wedding is “traditional”: we have a decent sized wedding party (5 gals and 5 guys, plus the two of us), A will be wearing a tux, I’ll be wearing a long white dress (well, ivory), there will be cake and a band and toasts and first dances and all those wonderful elements that make up your basic, “traditional” wedding. I’m even planning on changing my name, which is pretty much as traditional as it gets.
So where does that leave me?
I think it leaves me label-less, and that’s just fine with me. Some of my wedding is traditional, some is non-traditional, but all of it is me. Err… us. (heh)
What about you? Are you a traditional bride, a non-traditional bride, both or neither?
And are you struggling with labels? Embracing them or denying them?
I would say I’m a little bit of both. I won’t be doing a garter or bouquet toss either. I won’t be doing favors (most likely) just because most things are not what I would even want to receive because they would land in the trash. I think right now what I’m struggling with is what “style” of wedding do I want? Have very tasty bbq that people will inhale? Or do I go with a buffet that people will like but not think it’s the best thing since sliced bread? I know I want to avoid the typical chicken and roasted red potatoes too! It’s at every wedding. I read somewhere once that the only part he hates about weddings is the “Wedding Chicken” because he’ s had it every way possible–and a lot of times it’s dry. Ugh.
I think my wedding was a typical beach style wedding. However, my reception was a bit non-traditional. We did not do dancing (we both can’t dance!), we did not do a bouquet toss, we did not do toasts, either. But we had a great dinner!
Jess’s most recent blog post: The Swervin Ervins
Wow…that whole post sums me/us up so well! We keep going back to that word “different” also yet we don’t want to lose a lot of the traditional things that you think of when you hear “wedding.” I think that bottom line is if our guests have a fabulous time and can see “us” in our wedding then we accomplished what we wanted to…I don’t need the label.
Different is the word I use ALL the time too. I didn’t want the traditional banquet style seating and all. I say we’re mostly having a non-traditional (modern) wedding with just a touch of tradition. We’re marrying in a glass chapel overlooking the pacific and still in search for that “non-traditional” reception, or “after-party” venue as we like to call it. I’m going for more lounge-like, maybe a pool side setting. My groom will be wearing grey instead of the traditional black tux with converse shoes. I do have a lace dress with a medium length veil though. We’ll only be having my MOH & his best man in our wedding party. Since there are girls getting married every day, I think we’re all in search of that “thing” that will make us all “different” then the next. Hopefully I can accomplish this goal as well! Good luck with yours!
Oceanside Bride’s most recent blog post: Happy 4th of July!
When I first started planning I thought I would be completely non-traditional but as the process has gone on I find myself making some traditional decisions as well. The thing is that I won’t make a decision just for tradition’s sake. Sometimes typical is mistaken for traditional and I refuse to be typical. But if a tradition means something to me, my fiance, my friends and my family then, yes, I will find a way to incorporate it.
I say toss out the labels and embrace all that is you! It’s refreshing to see things outside the norm, and you’re on the right track with what your wedding should truly be about…you. It should reflect your personalities and who you are and your guests will be delighted to be a part of your day. Your thoughts on venue, photographer and flowers are all awesome! I love seeing shoes other than white and I also walked down to a non traditional song. Run with it, your day will be phenomenal!
