Comments on: Invitation Dilemma http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/ The wedding blog that is all about the details... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:49:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Erin http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-43106 Erin Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:33:00 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-43106 Sorry, late to the discussion...was honeymooning :). I would put your parents names on the same line and use your full name. I used my full name on our invitations and it worked fine. As far as the Dr./Ms./Mrs. issues...technical rules (to follow or not, as you deem fit) would have the person with the title of Dr. first. Also, you're not supposed to use Mrs. with a maiden name. So to follow all those rules you could use either Dr. Cool and Ms. Sassy, or Dr. and Mrs. Cool. But very few people know or care about the technical rules, so if you want to do something else, just do it. I would ask your mom before deeming her Mrs. Cool though just in case she would care about that since it's not technically her name. Sorry, late to the discussion…was honeymooning :). I would put your parents names on the same line and use your full name. I used my full name on our invitations and it worked fine.

As far as the Dr./Ms./Mrs. issues…technical rules (to follow or not, as you deem fit) would have the person with the title of Dr. first. Also, you’re not supposed to use Mrs. with a maiden name. So to follow all those rules you could use either Dr. Cool and Ms. Sassy, or Dr. and Mrs. Cool. But very few people know or care about the technical rules, so if you want to do something else, just do it. I would ask your mom before deeming her Mrs. Cool though just in case she would care about that since it’s not technically her name.

]]> By: Natalie http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40578 Natalie Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:20:52 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40578 Thank you all SO MUCH for your thoughtful comments - you have been so helpful. It's nice to hear so much support and thoughtful advice... what did I ever do without all you lovely EAD peeps?! I will keep you posted on what we decide to do! Thank you all SO MUCH for your thoughtful comments – you have been so helpful. It’s nice to hear so much support and thoughtful advice… what did I ever do without all you lovely EAD peeps?! I will keep you posted on what we decide to do!

]]> By: leenie http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40264 leenie Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:45:39 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40264 To avoid the fact that my parents are divorced, we're doing 'together with their parents, bride and groom invite you' To avoid the fact that my parents are divorced, we’re doing ‘together with their parents, bride and groom invite you’

]]> By: Sarah http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40256 Sarah Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:22:14 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40256 Oh sorry I forgot to mention this part... My mom's legal name is her maiden name but for social situations/non legal things and my stepgrandma's benefit, she is totally fine using my stepdad's name. Basically the only reason she didn't change it legally was a. for professional recognition reasons and b. so that I would have the same name as my mom and wouldn't be family-less. Maybe your mom would feel the same way?? Oh sorry I forgot to mention this part…

My mom’s legal name is her maiden name but for social situations/non legal things and my stepgrandma’s benefit, she is totally fine using my stepdad’s name.

Basically the only reason she didn’t change it legally was a. for professional recognition reasons and b. so that I would have the same name as my mom and wouldn’t be family-less.

Maybe your mom would feel the same way??

]]> By: Sarah http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40249 Sarah Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:04:50 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40249 My parents are my mom and stepdad who paid for the whole thing. Although my mom kept her maiden name legally and my maiden name was the same as hers, we addressed the invite as... "Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad Name Here, III invite you to the wedding of their daughter My Full Name and Mr. Husband Name Here" So basically everyone got the picture. Plus everyone that was invited either knew the situation, knows my parents or AT LEAST knew my name or my hubs. Good Luck! My parents are my mom and stepdad who paid for the whole thing. Although my mom kept her maiden name legally and my maiden name was the same as hers, we addressed the invite as…

“Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad Name Here, III
invite you to the wedding of their daughter
My Full Name
and
Mr. Husband Name Here”

So basically everyone got the picture. Plus everyone that was invited either knew the situation, knows my parents or AT LEAST knew my name or my hubs.

Good Luck!

]]> By: BitterB http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40244 BitterB Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:53:21 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40244 I think the biggest (incorrect) hint that would present your mother as unmarried is referring to her as Ms. instead of Mrs. Unless there's some etiquette rule out there I don't know about that says your should use Ms. even though she's married to your father. But even if there is, that would read to me as a single woman as opposed to a married woman. Beyond that, it's completely up to you. Personally, I would solve the problem by not sending out invitations to people who don't know me well enough to know my parents are together and would make assumptions based on the presence of my middle name. But that's just a very personal solution. .-= BitterB's most recent blog post: <a href="http://www.thebitchgirls.us/2009/08/walmarts-new-cookie-venture/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rss" rel="nofollow">Wal-Mart’s New Cookie Venture</a> =-. I think the biggest (incorrect) hint that would present your mother as unmarried is referring to her as Ms. instead of Mrs. Unless there’s some etiquette rule out there I don’t know about that says your should use Ms. even though she’s married to your father. But even if there is, that would read to me as a single woman as opposed to a married woman.

Beyond that, it’s completely up to you. Personally, I would solve the problem by not sending out invitations to people who don’t know me well enough to know my parents are together and would make assumptions based on the presence of my middle name. But that’s just a very personal solution.
.-= BitterB’s most recent blog post: Wal-Mart’s New Cookie Venture =-.

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40238 Stephanie Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:14:52 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40238 Ditto the commenters above who say, parents on same line, use your whole name. I think it looks more balanced to have it that way, with you and you FI both having all three names on there. Good luck! Ditto the commenters above who say, parents on same line, use your whole name. I think it looks more balanced to have it that way, with you and you FI both having all three names on there. Good luck!

]]> By: Kate http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40235 Kate Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:29:52 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40235 I totally understand. I had similar problems...just a little different. My parents are divorced, but on very good terms. My mom hyphenated her name and since they were married 25 years, she wasn't about to change that back! However, I just didn't know what to do. Since they were divorced I was "supposed" have their names on separate lines with no "and" in between. But that look so so cold- which is not how my parents are at all. But the same line, with my mom's last name still having part of my dads- wouldn't that confuse people. What if some people thought they were still married?! Ack! In the end, I totally bucked tradition and I put them on the SAME LINE with an AND in between. Why? I asked them what they wanted and their response was this- screw etiquette, we are both your parents and we are both giving you away today TOGETHER (plus it just looks nicer and more balanced on the invite :) ). They are great. They basically said that only I was going to stare at this invite and wonder if it would confuse people, etc, etc. My point? There are all kinds of ways to do these things. Do what feels right to you. Have your invite lady do a couple different mock-ups and then choose. I totally understand. I had similar problems…just a little different. My parents are divorced, but on very good terms. My mom hyphenated her name and since they were married 25 years, she wasn’t about to change that back! However, I just didn’t know what to do. Since they were divorced I was “supposed” have their names on separate lines with no “and” in between. But that look so so cold- which is not how my parents are at all. But the same line, with my mom’s last name still having part of my dads- wouldn’t that confuse people. What if some people thought they were still married?! Ack! In the end, I totally bucked tradition and I put them on the SAME LINE with an AND in between. Why? I asked them what they wanted and their response was this- screw etiquette, we are both your parents and we are both giving you away today TOGETHER (plus it just looks nicer and more balanced on the invite :) ). They are great. They basically said that only I was going to stare at this invite and wonder if it would confuse people, etc, etc. My point? There are all kinds of ways to do these things. Do what feels right to you. Have your invite lady do a couple different mock-ups and then choose.

]]> By: Nicki http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40229 Nicki Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:03:54 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40229 I think it's Doctor Daddy Cool and Mrs. Mom Sassy all on one line (I agree that the doctor goes first). Then I would use your full name because with your parents having different last names, your last name isn't intuitive. Good luck! I think it’s Doctor Daddy Cool and Mrs. Mom Sassy all on one line (I agree that the doctor goes first). Then I would use your full name because with your parents having different last names, your last name isn’t intuitive. Good luck!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2009/08/14/invitation-dilemma/#comment-40228 Sarah Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:00:59 +0000 http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/?p=15605#comment-40228 Just use your mom's first name and your father's last name for this one thing. It would be the same if you were address an invitation. It's normally Mr. John and Rita Snow or whatever if they're married. If your mom isn't a femi she should care too much. Just use your mom’s first name and your father’s last name for this one thing. It would be the same if you were address an invitation. It’s normally Mr. John and Rita Snow or whatever if they’re married. If your mom isn’t a femi she should care too much.

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