How Many Bridesmaids Does it Take to Help You Pee?
October 6, 2009 · Posted in the planning process, bridesmaids by kasia
Love the above cards from Stinkerpants.
I’ve been having a battle with both me vs myself and me vs my mom, over the number of bridesmaids I plan on inviting to be part of the wedding. I’ll spare you the details because it simply comes down to this, it’s either 2 or 11. I either have only a matron of honor (sister) and maid of honor (friend) or I have them both plus by 9 dearest friends, none of who I can spare or cut.
My mom cannot swallow the idea of 11 maids and thinks it may be tacky. However, I cannot swallow the idea of not having my best friends involved in my wedding day, regardless that it may look a little out of control to outsiders.
I know what you are going to say, “Go with your gut.” And that’s what I plan on doing. It’s just sooooooo hard to go against your mother, a woman who is helping finance the very wedding you are battling over.
How do you handle situations like the one above?
On a separate note, the save the date postcards from printsmadeeasy.com (#100 for only $28) look INCREDIBLE! So professional, delivery was so quick, quality is outstanding - highly recommended.
I actually don’t go with my gut, I make a pro/con list or talk it out. My gut isn’t very practical. We had a similar situation with attendants–it was either going to be 12 people total or 3 people or no people standing up there during the ceremony. We talked about it for a month, and decided to only have family standing with us, resulting in 3.
You’ll really know what’s best for you in the end, whether it’s 12 or 2, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand the predicament you’re in. Good luck with the decision!
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I was just in a wedding with 11 other girls (so 12 bridesmaids total) and the bride was worried about it looking odd, but it really didn’t. One thing to consider that might appease your mom (this is what my friend did) is to have them all wear the dress with the bouquet and walk down the aisle, but then sit in the front row and have just the MOHs stand by you during the whole ceremony.
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I know, it’s never easy. But you know, you can have all 11, but not have them standing up with you - but rather task them with other responsibilities.
Do what you think is best of course! I could see 11 bridesmaids being a bit odd if you’re not having a very large wedding or if the space isn’t large enough to hold all of them where ever you want them to stand/sit. Other than that, I don’t think it matters.
If you don’t want to have a huge bridal party, but do want to honour your girls, you could just let the other girls know how special they are to you and you want to include them and then ask them all to just attend the wedding as guests but wear a certain colour, or something to distinguish them. I’ve seen girls do that with sororiety sisters or old childhood friends when they can’t ask everyone to be in the bridal party. And then of course include them in whatever wedding activities you want. :)
good luck!
I would go with your two “special” Bridesmaids that stand up with you and then have your other maids sit in the front row with a similar dress color theme. Have two bridesmaids and make the rest “attendents”. That way they’ll all still be involved, but your Mom will be happy too. You can also do a “harvest table” instead of the traditional head table where your head table is in the middle of your reception space and your and your party sits all the way around your table (that’s what I’m doing because I don’t want people to watch me eat, and then we can also sit with out ushers and musicians that are very special to us).
My sisters dilemma:2or11 bridesmaids http://bit.ly/49ElUe
I would go with your 11 besties - I think that you should have all your girls around you on such an important day of your life. Wishing you all the best!
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Ooh. I feel you! I got engaged a few months ago, but we consciously decided to not plan anything until our busy summer was over. I have two sisters and two best friends, but also a few other close friends who I’d invite IF my man gets all nine of his desired groomsmen. [ie if they are available]…time will tell!!! And he wants four best men. Heh. ;D
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Can you make use of a house party at all? I’ve had this role in a few friends weddings. It’s a nice way to include more people, but not have a giant wedding party. We still felt so honored to be helping. It could be a good middle ground!
11?? wow. not to be a nay-sayer, but i vote for the two. simple. classy. elegant. 11 bridesmaids, to me, screams “i am 25 years old.” but, then again, i had 7…so who am i to judge.
my cousin did something cool and picked a poem to be read at the ceremony - each of her best friends read a line and she just had her two sisters, sister-in-law and sister-in-law-to-be standing up.
I think it’s really important to be true to yourself when making decisions like this. Your mom might be vocal about it now, but in the end I doubt she’ll really be upset either way over this particular decision. She’s just trying to do what she thinks is best for you.
If some of the girls would be included only because they are part of “the group” and you couldn’t have some without the others, then have just your sister and closest friend and have the others participate in a reading or a poem as mentioned by Renatamic above.
Or, if you really are that close to all 11 ladies and want them to all share your day with you as bridesmaids, then they should all be bridesmaids. And, you can always split them up at the altar so that you have two rows of ladies, one set up on a step (maybe 5 of them) the other 6 on the floor, or everybody on the floor level with two rows one in front of the other but with staggered positioning. That way they only take up the space of 6 bridesmaids visually instead of a long single file line of 11 of them a la “27 Dresses” closing scene.
Good luck!
I second what Erin wrote. I’ve seen weddings where there are just a couple bridesmaids, but then the bride asks her closest friends to all wear the same color or coordinate somehow…I thought it was a really nice way for the friends to stand out, and it makes great pictures!! Probably what I would do if I were you…but I still haven’t even chosen my bridesmaids yet!! Sigh…
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