Pregnant Bridesmaids
Out of my 11 bridesmaids, 6 are married and 3 have already given birth to one child. Another one is currently pregnant with her first due in February, and I just found out today, that another is pregnant with her 2nd due……the week of my wedding.
What to do? What to do? Naturally, given the demographics of my bridesmaids, I understood early on that at this point in our lives (circa 29-30 years old), we all have our own family lives and demands that make it hard to plan around. I understand that my bridesmaid due in June may not be able to make the wedding or fit into a matching dress. However, I don’t want to NOT have her because of that. Just because she may not be able to participate in the “big day” I still consider her as I do the other 10, vital important people that have contributed to making my life special throughout my various walks of life. I’ve told her that I would love for her to be considered a bridesmaid and participate in whatever she can. Obviously, everyone understands that a 9 month pregnant woman may not be able to commit, however, I still want her included in my roster of special people.
Have any of you been a pregnant bridesmaid or have pregnant bridesmaids? How would you feel and what would you do?
of COURSE she is still special. what would she prefer to do? does she still want to be a bridesmaid or would she prefer to do a reading or have a differemt (but equally special) role? i’ve seen a few pregnant bridesmaids…they just buy the largest size possible and then alter, alter, alter! i’d leave it up to them how they’d like to participate…having one already she already knows what to expect when her wee one comes. good luck!
The same thing happened to me!! My best friend found out she was due 1 month before my wedding. Aside from travel issues, we decided she would be an ‘honorary bridesmaid’. She would be able to participate and host any showers, parties or events before the wedding. There wouldn’t be any stress on her to buy a dress or worry about travel so soon after giving birth. If you friend is anything like mine, she won’t tell you it would be easier to not be in the wedding. My best friend was so relieved when I came up with this option. As sad as it is to not have her in my wedding, I realize that having your first child is just as important to her! Good luck with your decision.
11 BM’s? Wow! I had a co-worker who just got married and her friend had given birth the week before her wedding and she was still able to be a BM for her friend. One of my bridesmaids said that she will wait to start trying until after my wedding, I thought that was very considerate (yet unncessary) of her. I think maybe let your BM make her own decision of whether or not she thinks she’ll be able to be in your wedding.
Sadly, none of my girls are pregnant now. In the 22 months of planning though half of my bridesmaids were pregnant at some point. I was thrilled each time they told me and then a lil disappointed when I realized they would have the baby before the wedding. Sad face.
However, my photographer is going to be 8 months pregnant for our wedding which I am excited for…
I love pregnant women. They are so cutE!!
The honorary bridesmaid option already mentioned does seem to be the time-honored etiquette way of handling this particular situation. At 9 months, maybe already in labor, or if not, very uncomfortable, she may or may not want to (I’m sorry, I can say this, since I have a child and know what it’s like being pregnant) waddle up the aisle.
Definitely would offer her the choice, if I were you, give her the option of being honorary bridesmaid or being up there with you if she’s up to it, and leave it up to her.
I had a pregnant bridesmaid and she flaked out. I made every effort to make sure that she was included. I worked with my other bridesmaids to make showers and bachlorette parties pregnant friendly. In the end, she flaked out on the bachlorette — which was scheduled a month before the wedding. I had also been tipped off that she was making comments about not showing up for the wedding! I told her I’d understand if she stepped down, but she insisted that she’d be fine at 8.5 months pregnant. I finally had to tell her that I would love for her to come as a guest or “honorary” bridesmaid, but that I asked her to step down as an official bridesmaid to take some stress off of both of us. It ended our friendship. I was very sad that she couldn’t find time in her life to be happy for me as well as herself.
I don’t think a preggers BM has any bearing on your wedding. You get a day, not the 9 months before it too. I’d be elated for my friends that they are expecting, end of story.
if your friend has her baby the week of your wedding, I’d leave everything exactly as it is and mention it during the ceremony (if you’ll have a prayer) or as a toast at the reception.
My bridesmaid informed me she was pregnant with her first about a month into planning. Then 3 months later she found out she was having triplets. Yes, that’s TRIPLETS. SPONTANEOUSLY! (which coincidentally were born yesterday). I told her she could do whatever she wanted. She was such a trooper and really wanted to be a part of the day. She even bought 3 different sized dresses! Ultimately, she had to drop out a week before the wedding, but whatevs. I didn’t care. I was stoked for her!
My matron of honor found out she was pregnant and due just 2 weeks before the wedding. I left it up to her and said, do what ever you feel comfortable doing! I’m still putting your name on the program as my matron of honor but if you can’t walk or come or need to tend to the baby that’s fine! She has been amazing and I’m so thankful for good friends. She recognizes it’s my big day and I recognize it’s her first time being a mommy. We’re both happy for each other and letting it all just work itself out. the less of a big deal you make it, the less of a big deal it is. for us, it’s not at all.
I’m so glad to see this thread because I am having a similar issue! My sister, who is the maid of honor, is due with her first child in mid April and the wedding is in late May. Her not participating is not an option – she’s my sister! Plus she wouldn’t have it any other way. The problem is trying to coordinate a dress for her with the two bridesmaids when she has no idea what size she’ll be wearing a month after the baby. She is also a bit sensitive about how she’ll look. I’m trying to keep the costs of the dresses very reasonable (it’s a DIY budget wedding anyway) so would you suggest I just get her to buy a dress in a large size and hope it can be altered to fit? Thanks everyone!
