This morning we’re going to take a little break from our regularly scheduled pretty pictures (don’t worry, they’ll be back this afternoon!). I want to take some time to share my thoughts about weddings with you and hear what you have to say too!
We all have a “wedding philosophy”. Here’s mine, and it’s simple.
There is no right or wrong.
Sure, there are things that you should do… like, somehow invite your guests. And feed them in some manner. But how you go about it, how much you spend, who you involve – well, I’ll say it again, there is no right or wrong.
Keeping that in mind, I want to share my five guiding principles of weddings – the ones I tried to follow when planning our vow renewal.
1) Your wedding is about you and your partner. After 11 years of marriage, I can tell you that your LIFE is about you and your partner too, so what better way to christen your marriage than by throwing a party that celebrates the two of you and your love?
2) Your wedding is about your guests. They should be comfortable. They should have fun. Presumably, those who attend are also those you love the most in the world – show them how much you love them and appreciate the fact that they are joining you on your special day.
3) Sometimes less is more. We’ve all seen the wedding where everything down to the dance floor and drink koozies was monogrammed. Incorporate your “theme” or your motif in ways that engage, but don’t overwhelm.
4) Sometimes more is more. I love boxed invitations, donut machines, chandeliers, low and lush centerpieces, lounge areas, gospel choirs, and salsa instructors (just not all in the same wedding, see principle #3!). There is nothing wrong with a bit of a decadent splash.
5) I believe that the best weddings are the ones that will stand the test of time.
We’ve featured everything from $2,000 weddings to weddings that I’m sure were well into the six figures. I loved them all. But more importantly, I believe that each and every one of them provided an opportunity to inspire all of us.
Do you disagree with me? That’s OK! Diversity is what makes the world go ’round, and I love hearing everyone’s opinions, so do tell – what is your wedding philosophy?
PS – And while we’re discussing… yesterday there was a wonderful conversation on Twitter that I’d love to continue here. What makes a wedding blog appeal to you? What types of posts do you love and why?
Follow @LoulabelleWB on Twitter
I totally agree! I think that you have summed up the perfect wedding well.
Our day (in June 2011) is all about us and we are trying to be a bit different to the weddings we have already been to. It is going to be a bit of a DIY day, but I think that we are all going to have fun (family and friends) creating it together… I can’t wait!
Follow @amiatead on Twitter
loulabelle, i love that you are going to involve your friends and family in creating your day. my friends and mother and i had such a blast putting things together for my vow renewal!
Follow @LoulabelleWB on Twitter
I think its so nice to involve your nearest and dearest, plus on the day I think that we will feel such a sense of achievement. Sounds like you had a really special time and day :o)
I’m loving your blog, I’m relatively new to all this (June this year) and just made my blog public. Great article as always, would you mind if I shared it to my blog please (with the relevant links back of course) x
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absolutely – go for it and thank you for the kind words!
Follow @IZZYMagazine on Twitter
I completely agree with your philosophy. As a wedding photographer with over 15 years of experience I have seen everything from the simple intimate weddings to million dollar weddings. The weddings that are best loved (by everyone) are the ones where the wedding is about the couple and their loved ones. It is wonderful when you can splurge on fun extras. But, you always have to remember that in the end the day is about the love the couple has between each other.
Follow @amiatead on Twitter
melissa – couldn’t have said it better myself!
Follow @cydconverse on Twitter
For me it’s most important that a wedding be treated and viewed as what it is – a celebration. Of two people, of shared love, of a new chapter in life. It is not about outdoing your friend married a month before, having the trendiest dress nor the most original ideas – it is about incorporating details that you love, the mean something to you as a couple and that reflect the memories you share and the life you hope to build. If that means you’re in a pink dress and he’s wearing shorts, so be it. On the other hand, if your personality is more suited to a black tie affair in a ballroom, than that’s just as perfect. Perspective is everything and if we lose sight of a wedding as a celebration it’s easy to get caught up in the details and get stressed and overwhelmed or feel pressured.
.-= Cyd’s most recent blog post: Pretty Winter Flowers =-.
I agree. I think weddings should be about fun and family not necessarily about spending a lot.
Follow @thinksplendid on Twitter
For me, the best couples to work with are the ones who understand (and their actions show it) that the wedding is about more than one day – it is about a marriage and building a life together.
For that reason, I agree that there is no right or wrong when it comes to the actual wedding and is why I find elopements to be just as celebratory and romantic as lavish and decadent weddings.
There are some things I am absolutely against, but all of those center on etiquette issues and honoring the people you’ve chosen to celebrate with you (not feeding guests when a wedding spans a meal hour and leaving them stranded and hungry for 6 hours with only cake, for example, is never okay).
.-= Liene Stevens’s most recent blog post: Kindle Giveaway Winner! =-.
Follow @amiatead on Twitter
@cyd @amber @liene completely agree – my favorite weddings are the ones with personal touches!
@katem i love your comment! it makes me smile because your attitude is so perfect. everyone should be that carefree on their wedding day.
Follow @amberevents on Twitter
Ah! Great post. I tell my clients that their guests should walk away and say “that wedding was SO Jack and Jill!” not, “that was a pretty wedding.”
I’m seeing a lot of couples getting carried away with EVERY SINGLE trend that is on the blogs these days (big balloons in E sessions, vintage cameras held by bride & groom, candy buffets, choreographed dances, those mustaches on a stick, etc) and it seems like the bride and groom are a bit lost in all of the hoopla when every trend is replicated.
.-= Amber of Amber Events’s most recent blog post: This makes me happy =-.
I had a really simple wedding philosophy for our wedding in November:
As long as we get married it will all be ok.
And it was!
The celebrant blames us for her mispronunciation mistake- Who cares, as long as we get married!
My flowers don’t look like i expected? Who cares, we’re getting married!
I don’t have a throwing bouquet? no matter, the junior bridesmaid will swap me for mine, so she gets a bouquet bigger than her head to take home!
An inconsiderate guest has reduced my mother in law to tears? I;m not letting her ruin my day/night, I can just ignore her for now and be angry tomorrow, once my M-I-L is ok.
It was the best day ever, because we were surrounded by love, and very nearly every one of our friends and family. The texts and comments we’ve had since the day are that our day was us, and that it was a warm and funny wedding. You know it’s a good party when even the straight and noring uncles are having a good time!
Follow @CatieRonquillo on Twitter
The best weddings I have seen have been the ones that reflect the couple’s personality and relationship. And that can only be defined by the couple. And those couples who keep in mind that their wedding just the beginning of a journey of marriage. Because that’s the reason for the wedding…getting married and starting a life together.
For our wedding, I had some goals in mind: Make it fun. Make it personal. Make it memorable. And at the end of the day, we’ll be married, which was the whole goal, right? And so we didn’t have the fanciest wedding on the block, but from the response of family and friends, we had a really fun, really personal, and memorable wedding. We infused lots of personal bits, named our tables after Disney movies, folded a hundred+ Martha Stewart poms (which the ladies used in their hair), and had a Nintendo groom’s cake. So fun!
It’s not a show, it’s a celebration. So celebrate! Have a great time!
.-= Catie Ronquillo’s most recent blog post: Name Change Game =-.
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i love this post and the comments that have followed! thank you so much, ami for putting it out there and for being so honest. i wrote this post a bit ago about how to create a truly timeless wedding (http://juliannesmith.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/does-your-wedding-define-you-or-do-you-define-your-wedding/) and the best way to do that is to start with yourself first! who are you? what do you want? what kind of life do you want to lead with your new husband/wife? if you start with a strong sense of self and you base your wedding around your personality, it will never be trendy!
thanks for sharing!
and p.s. you are soooo right….your wedding and your life are all about you and your partner. your wedding day is simply a turning point in a long journey!
.-= Julianne Smith’s most recent blog post: conversation with sugar b studio =-.
Follow @amiatead on Twitter
@catie @julianne, thank you so much – i am all about fun trends, but ultimately what’s important is that your wedding is about YOU!