True confessions time: After six months of being engaged, I had done almost nothing to plan our wedding.

Am I crazy? Perhaps. Cold feet? No way!

The diagnosis?   A heaping helping of “wedding inertia” that was seriously impeding any type of planning process. I see two sources for this inertia:

1) I’m a realist and a practical gal. After years of living on a graduate student stipend, I know the true meaning of living on a budget. It took me a while to come to grips with the fact that my wedding was going to cost money – and that it was okay. I know in my heart that marriage is worth celebrating, and I want my friends and family to be there to celebrate with us. Now I face the challenge of creating a beautiful celebration while not losing sight of the end goal.

2) I am terribly indecisive. Seriously, it takes me forever to just buy salad dressing. I blame the years of research training for this one. An informed decision is a good one, I tell myself, but sometimes the quest for information overwhelms the actual decision and I become paralyzed by choice. Bridal magazines and blogs don’t really help this problem at all!

So I had piles of magazines, a full blog reader, and several bridal fairs under my belt, but wedding planning had gone nearly nowhere. Despite being bombarded by the “have you set a date” lines of questioning, Jason and I decided that our first true decision would be location, location, location – our location would then dictate the date. However, this is probably the hardest wedding decision for us, and I leaned heavily on Jason as we bounced ideas back and forth.

We knew we wanted a place meaningful and beautiful that would allow our friends and family to enjoy our celebration. We toyed with the idea of a destination wedding, but couldn’t decide where that destination would be. New York wine country? Vegas? A tropical beach? All of them sounded fantastic and fun. However, the more we thought about it, the more we realized a destination wedding might not be for us. An all-inclusive venue in a tropical locale might be easier for us, but asks a lot from our guests; a far-flung venue that is not all-inclusive would be a nightmare to plan.

Then Jason suggested we stay close to home and plan a wedding in Nashville. Initially I was a bit skeptical. I had drunk the bridal blog kool-aid, and had let myself fantasize about the winery wedding with the weathered barn, mason jar candles, and dream-like photos of us dancing under the stars. Was Nashville really “special” enough for my wedding? I remained unconvinced.

It wasn’t long, however, before I was brought crashing back to reality.

On May 1st and 2nd, 2010, Nashville received over 13 inches of rain. With the ground saturated and the rivers full, water began creeping into the city. We spent over four hours bailing water that poured into our basement and tried to stay dry. When we emerged, we found out that we were some of the lucky ones. People had lost their homes and entire neighborhoods were submerged. Downtown Nashville was underwater. Even on our own street, almost a mile from the nearest creek, the water had its victims; our neighbor at the end of the block pumped almost four feet of water out of his basement.

Richland Creek became a raging torrent that took out the golf course, greenway, and many homes downstream (photo source: author’s own collection)

Water inundated downtown Nashville (source)

The devastation was crushing. I had never before witnessed such an event, and the shock sucked the breath right out of my body. But then the most amazing thing happened. The rain had barely stopped falling and Nashvillians were banding together to help save what they could, clean up what was destroyed, and rebuild the city. I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas; my “Nashville heart” swelled as I witnessed sandbagging efforts to save our last remaining water treatment plant, helped neighbors rebuild their damaged homes, and participated in fundraising and food drives. I couldn’t believe the pride and dedication of my fellow citizens, and I had a whole new respect for my adopted home town.

With chants of “We are Nashville” ringing in my ears, I realized that the spirit evident in the recovery efforts was exactly what I wanted our wedding – and marriage – to embody. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to invite our friends and family to Nashville, a place that many have never visited, and show them all the good things about the city where Jason and I had met, fell in love, and decided to start our lives together.

Over the next few months, I will be exploring my city with new eyes and trying to find a wedding location that satisfies all our needs and desires while respecting our limited budget. I will also be shopping around for the best Nashville vendors for all my other wedding needs. While our wedding isn’t likely to be traditional, I know that if we stay true to what feels right we will end up with something truly special to us.

Have you been challenged by a case of wedding inertia? How did you snap out of it?