Maintaining balance in your wedding planning process is crucial to your physical health, emotional well-being and to how you interact with your fiance and the people you care about. It is easy, especially in Western culture, to get caught up in the myriad of details and material goods that go along with planning a wedding. If you feel that it is starting to take over your life however, then there are some things to keep in mind in order to maintain some boundaries:

Perfection Doesn’t Exist
There is no such thing as perfect. If any of your vendors are promising you a perfect wedding day, take that as a red-flag and look elsewhere. Perfection is unattainable and something will always go wrong on the wedding day. Realizing that up front will make you a lot happier and will make your interaction with the people around you much more pleasant.

Marriage is a Transition
Even for couples who have lived together, marriage brings with it several changes, especially on the emotional and subconscious levels. Having doubts, getting cold feet, dreaming wedding-related nightmares and suddenly thinking of your exes much more than you usually do are all par for the course in being a bride. These emotions do not necessarily make you unfit for marriage or mean that you have chosen the wrong mate. So breathe easy if you aren’t feeling excited about your wedding 24/7. You’re normal.

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Yesterday we talked about etiquette when it comes to paying gratuities to your wedding vendors. Knowing how much to tip can be confusing, so I’ve broken it down per vendor. These numbers aren’t hard and fast and the amounts usually vary by region, but they’ll help give you a general idea of what’s appropriate.

Officiant: Check with your officiant about gratuities prior to the wedding day. Depending in the type of officiant (judge, clergy member, etc), there may be a law or rule prohibiting them from accepting tips. If not, then plan on tipping them 15-20% of their fee.

Wait Staff and Food Service Employees: These include the catering manager, banquet captain, chefs, bakers, bartenders and anyone else assisting with the culinary side of your reception. The gratuity scale is similar to that of a restaurant with the amount totaling around 15-22% of the total bill. The total amount should be split amongst them.

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An often overlooked and hidden cost in wedding planning is the subject of tipping and gratuities. Though seemingly small amounts when broken down individually, these costs can add up quickly and need to be budgeted in at the beginning of your planning process. Here are some simple rules of thumb when it comes to wedding gratuity etiquette:

1) Don’t assume the service charge on your catering bill includes the gratuity. This almost always comes as a shock to brides, but the 22% service charge that you’re already paying on top of your food cost often doesn’t include the tips for the wait staff or the folks in the kitchen. Ask your venue or caterer specifically if it includes the gratuity for your service providers so that you aren’t caught in a sticky etiquette situation on your wedding day.

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I’m often asked what defines a Blue Orchid Designs event, and the reality is that it is not a certain technique or design flair. As a professional wedding designer, my job is to help my clients define their style and then produce the best possible version of their vision. This results in each wedding being completely different. There is one common thread, however, that is shared by every event we produce and that is that they are guest-centric.

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Budgets are a funny thing. They are practical and boring, yet so important to the wedding planning process. On the other hand, they can be intimidating and uncomfortable, especially if you come from a family that does not discuss financial matters. The truth is that, no matter the size, weddings are expensive and costs add up quickly - after all, when was the last time you took 60 people out to a nice dinner and footed the bill? Setting up a budget at the beginning of the planning process will help you spend and allocate your wedding dollars wisely. Here are some tips to help you stay in your budget and still have a wedding you’ll love:

Communicate Honestly and Accurately
Knowing your real budget is crucial to your wedding vendors. A good florist, a good planner, a good designer will all be able to work within your monetary parameters, so be sure to give them an accurate number when you meet with them. This may seem like a no-brainer, but you may be surprised at the number of couples who inflate their budget or dance around the subject because they are embarrassed to talk about.

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