One of the most important things to remember in wedding planning is the list of gifts to be purchased for your bridal party, parents, readers, shower hosts and hostesses, etc.  Traditional gifts such as cuff-links and money clips will always be appropriate tokens of appreciation.  I, however, am a firm believer in giving people something they will love, not something generic in the name of tradition.  Here is our list of wedding gifts, some traditional, some unique, and some down-right random.

Standing up for me was my made-of-honor and my three brothers.  I also had four other ladies who walked down the aisle as bridesmaids (although they didn’t stand in front of church).  My goal was to get them something classy that they would be able to use right away as well as something sentimental.

I ended up gifting each of them with a different color leather Coach change purse.  They came in yellow, pink and gold.  Purchased here.

The other gift I got for the ladies was an even bigger hit. I got them all copies of the 5 Year Diary. I have always loved writing in a journal and the layout of this one is beyond cool. Check it out here.

{Read the rest of this entry…}

The lovely lady who is designing our wedding invitations emailed me today to start the design process for the invitation suite.  The primary thing she needs to start is the wording, which I initially thought “no problem, I’ll just google ‘invitation wording’ and copy, paste” - boy was I wrong.  First of all, there are SO MANY options out there: casual, formal, church ceremony, dry reception, etc.  Thankfully, I knew exactly what I wanted it to “feel” like, so making choices there wasn’t a struggle.  However, I hadn’t thought at all about the fact that my mom didn’t take my dad’s last name when they got married.  She’s not a raging feminist, she just liked her name and so she kept it (and she doesn’t care at all that I am changing my name when I get married).

To be honest, this is the first time in my life that this has ever really presented a problem for me.  Sure, other people might have been confused, but I always knew my parents were happily married, despite the fact that they didn’t have the same last name, so I never cared what other people thought.  For some reason, now I care.  Do I write:

“Ms. Mom Sassy and Dr. Daddy Cool
request the pleasure of your company…”

or

“Dr. Daddy Cool and Ms. Mom Sassy
request the pleasure of your company…”

or

“Ms. Mom Sassy and
Dr. Daddy Cool
request the pleasure of your company…”

or

“Dr. Daddy Cool and
Ms. Mom Sassy
request the pleasure of your company…”

What are the implications of all of these options above?  I’m pretty sure that separate lines means divorced, but I’m not sure.  And I think in a couple with differing last names the woman is supposed to go first, but, again, not sure…

{Read the rest of this entry…}

We’re getting married in late August in a garden on a farm on the banks of a river in central Pennsylvania. Our ceremony is under a canopy of trees, and our reception is under a white tent with cocktails and mingling between the two on a poolside patio. Dinner is buffet style BBQ. And to get from one site to another, guests will have to walk along a sloping dirt path. If you were a invited to our wedding, what would you wear?

This question has been asked by more than a few guests. Yes, it’s a less formal affair than a traditional wedding in a Catholic church with a sit-down dinner among chandeliers and a string quartet. Tuxedos and ball gowns would not be appropriate. But it’s a wedding; it’s more than a picnic on the river (not that there’s anything wrong with combining the two). Shorts and polo shirts would not be appropriate for this soirée.

Our website includes the following message: “Dress is less formal than black tie, but more formal than jeans. It would be appropriate for men to wear shirts and ties (and jackets, if you wish) and ladies to wear sun dresses. Please also choose dress shoes that you’ll be comfortable wearing in a garden on the banks of the Susquehanna River. Emily suggests flats or wedge heels for the ladies.”

How are you planning to share wardrobe suggestions with your guests?

I plan weddings for a living and because of this, I have developed a very strong anti-traditional bride mentality.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with carrying on tradition but it’s  just not for me.

Here is a list of things of Do’s and Don’ts I have for our Wedding.

Lets start with the Don’ts.

1.) I will NOT have a wedding party.

- I have never had any strong relationships with females and wouldn’t feel right bringing in someone for the big day just to call them a “maid of honor.”  Plus, I don’t like people gushing all over me.

2.) I will NOT have a guest book, bouquet toss, head table/sweet heart table or first dance.

-Our photographer should be able to capture which guests were able to share the day with us.  I don’t need a book of “Congratulations” to  make me feel good.  I hate being the center of attention so therefore I will try to avoid anything that will put me on display. No one pays attention to you when you are dancing unless you make up some choreographed dance and that’s just not happening.

3.) I will NOT have a Videographer.

-Enough said.

4.) I will NOT micromanage my day.

-I have seen too many people get wrapped up in the details the day of the wedding that they are constantly on the look out for something to go wrong.  When you start doing this, you aren’t able to enjoy the good things.  Do yourself a favor and let go. The amount of pressure that will get lifted off your shoulders will feel amazing.

5.) I will NOT spend thousands and thousands of dollars on my wedding.

-Not happening. At All.  I believe the best weddings are those that really encapsulate the feeling of wholesome relationships, happiness and creativity.  A $10,000 gown doesn’t necessarily do that for me.

Now for the Do’s!

{Read the rest of this entry…}

First of all, hope everyone had a great holiday break and Happy 2009. I am very excited to be in 2009 and there is now only 5 months to go until our wedding day.

I have talked about the process of choosing our ceremony and reception venues but before I go into more details about decoration, diy projects or my dress, perhaps you might be interested in what will actually happen on the day including English customs and traditions and who is in our wedding party. Then, in the coming weeks I will fill in the details as there is plenty to say, especially about the hen and stag parties.

First, the bridesmaids. I am the eldest of three daughters so naturally my two younger sisters, A1 and A2, are two of my bridesmaids. The third is T, M’s brother’s wife. In England it is usual, in my experience, to limit the bridesmaids to a small number, usually sisters, sisters-in-law to be and close friends.

M’s best man is his best friend B and his brother J is the head usher. A1’s boyfriend A3 is my usher at the church (at the church the bride’s family sits on the left hand side and the groom’s on the right, so each family needs one usher). A host of our friends are acting as the rest of the ushers for the day and shall be helping out with things such as serving drinks and making sure everyone knows what is supposed to be done when.

The day before the wedding: we shall be setting up the reception venue and then both families will attend a rehearsal at the chapel where we do a run-through of who stands where, what music is played when and what happens. This is supposed to avoid situations like the last wedding I was a bridesmaid at where we had no idea where to stand once we reached the front of the church. After the rehearsal my family will return to the reception venue for the evening (supposedly to have supper together, in reality I suspect that we will do lots more setting up and then take some photos). M’s family will spend their evening together. M and I will not see each other until I reach the front of the church the next morning.

{Read the rest of this entry…}

With all the hustle and bustle of a wedding, sometimes its hard to find time to figure out exactly what information goes on your paper products. When you work with a custom invitation designer like Zenadia Design, they can help take the stress off this area by giving you suggestions. I always refer my clients to Verse It. This is an amazing website, filled with hundreds of ways to word everything from your save the date cards to rehearsal dinner invitations.

Lets take a look at some of the things you should include on your paper products:

Invitations

Rather than state the obvious, lets take a look at a few etiquette tips:

- Whoever is paying for the wedding us usually listed first. That is, if the brides parents are paying you’ll want to say something like: Mr and Mrs Edward Smith invite you to the marriage of their daughter…

{Read the rest of this entry…}

Today we are welcoming Sarah from the fabulous Monogram Chick blog to give us the skinny on monogramming your wedding!  Thanks for stopping by EAD today Sarah! 

{Monogram Chick}

It was barely a week after my [now] husband slipped the ring on my finger that I was shopping for stationery. Specifically, monogrammed stationery with my new, married identity; because really, that is what monograms are all about—Identity. When you’re single a three letter monogram is simple and straightforward: first name initial on the left, last name initial (larger) in the center, and middle name initial on the right. However, when you marry, things get more complicated and fun.

{Read the rest of this entry…}

Post has gone through several revisions based on an ongoing conversation between E and I.

We’ve had a few emails from readers requesting advice on gratuities and gifts for vendors. We though we would answer these as best we can.

{Read the rest of this entry…}

We hope you have enjoyed our Etiquette 101 series.  You all had some great questions and hopefully we shed some light onto your most baffling issues. 

To revisit our guest list Q&A, click {here}, {here}, {here}, or {here}. For some amazing advice on gratuities, check out Liene’s guest posts {here} and {here}.  Your burning questions on alcohol are answered {here}.  Flash photography during the ceremony is addressed {here}.  And finally we have the gift dilemmas {here}, {here}, {here} and {here}.

Thanks for sending in all of your questions and we are always here to help if anything arises in the future!

A. and E.

Aylee commented with concerns over how to handle out of state/country family members.

I don’t have a lot of relatives here in the US, but I can’t invite all of them due to budget constraints.  I decided to invite only those that are very close to me. However, a lot of them (that I don’t plan to invite) have invited themselves. They’ve been waiting and asking when I’m getting married for a while. What is a good way to handle this?

If you are having a large wedding, and just don’t want them there: Telling family that they aren’t invited because of budget (especially if you are inviting a lot of friends) is hurtful.  I would invite them and cut out friends.  Trust me, I know of to many brides who have concentrated on friends rather than family.  The brides no longer speak to the friends and have had to work to repair the relationship with their families.

I’m assuming, however, that you are having an intimate wedding with only immediate family and close friends attending. My advice would be to tell them kindly that you are restricted because of budget and can’t afford to have a big wedding.  Be up front with them, or else this will turn into a big problem.  Honesty is very important in this type of situation.  Your parents should also help you explain the situation and try to minimize the drama.

I would also consider a casual party to celebrate your new marriage.  Give those who love you the chance to spend time with you and your new husband.  It doesn’t need to be extravagant, and they will greatly appreciate being included.

A.

We received the following email from reader Jessica:

Could you please address the issue of tipping…specifically, who to tip and how much? I’m having my reception at a restaurant, and in the contract, the quoted price includes gratuity. Should I still hand out cash to each of the servers and bartenders at the end of the night…that seems awkward, but I don’t want to make anyone feel badly. I know I should tip a DJ, but what about the photographers? They’ll have dinner at the same time as we do, and I assume that I should not tip them. Anyone I’m leaving out? After everyone works so hard on our wedding, the last thing I want to do is to not take care of them properly. Your help is much appreciated.

Jessica, this is such a great question!  So much so that we asked Liene from the fabulous Blue Orchid Designs blog to address it in her week of guest posts a few months ago.

In this post, Liene discusses the etiquette surrounding gratuities.  And here, she lets us all know which vendors to tip and what the expected gratuity amounts should be.  The comments section in both post also asks and answers a lot of other burning questions, such as whether or not to provide meals to your vendors, tipping self-employed vendors, and where exactly that “service charge” on your quote goes!

Hope this helps!
E.

One of our fellow bloggers, Chitown Bride, wrote to ask about thank you card etiquette. She asks,

How long do you have to write your thank you cards after the wedding? My mother told me six weeks after the wedding, so I followed that rule. But it is funny, I have heard so many variations - six weeks after the honeymoon, six months after the wedding or even a year after the wedding (I think that person was actually confusing that rule with you have a year to give a gift after a wedding). Can you clear this one up for folks?

Ah, thank you cards. This simple task turns into something so dreaded and mind numbing. How do you thank someone creatively for the third crockpot without telling them you returned it for the duvet cover you really wanted? The answer? S-l-o-w-l-y. According to Emily Post you have three months after receiving the gift, so space the writing out over a few weeks. Take a few cards to work and write when you have a few spare minutes. Tuck them in a ziploc in your purse and write a couple while you are waiting. Like all big projects, if you spread out the work over time it won’t seem as intimidating!

If you forget to write within that deadline, don’t give up! Write when you can. Even if the card is late, you are still acknowledging the gift they gave.

A.