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While Nick and I were taking photos, our guests headed to the reception tent for the cocktail hour. They were supposed to gather around the rectangular pool — amidst round high top tables and mason jars of candles tied with red and orange ribbon — but the wet weather prevented that from happening. However, I heard they still had a pretty excellent time.

The space was decorated with red and orange Chinese lanterns, strings of white lights, baskets of greens, and fichus trees (all expertly arranged by our day of coordinator, Betsy, I must add).

Susan Savia provided the entertainment, and drinks were served alongside a European cheese spread with fresh bread, fruits, dips, and mustards (provided by The Festive Board of York).

We offered two signature drinks: Arnold Palmers from the groom and Peach Sangria from the bride. The Arnold Palmer is a blend of iced tea, lemonade, and vodka. And we mixed the Sangria the morning before the wedding. (Get the recipe.)

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(photo by kristen stewart photography –no she’s not from twilight but she’s just as fun)

One of the most fun things Garrett and I did the few weeks before our Oct. 3rd reception was to suggest music to our unbelievably talented DJ, Mitchell London.

I hadn’t really thought about the music at all, and hadn’t even decided to have a DJ until July. I thought we’d manage with an ipod reception, but I started realizing all that such would entail. Picking the songs (and the stress of trying to make it danceable! I would’ve died if no one danced), having an ipod and backup ready, having someone there to troubleshoot [I didn't like the idea of forcing any of our friends into work during the party, I wanted them to enjoy it!], what if it stopped working, did we need anything extra to hook up? So I twittered about needing a DJ, not expecting a response, really just to complain, and Mitchell messaged me to say he’d love to. Seeing how a lot of things went wrong in the course of our planning/doing, the music is something that went very right.

Even if you have someone you really trust doing your music, you need to suggest and request in advance. It will help the DJ out tremendously and increase your enjoyment of the night tenfold. Garrett absolutely loves music and has played instruments, formed bands with his friends, composed quartets and orchestral pieces on and off for years so I definitely wanted him to get involved. I had no idea how I was going to organize a list, and get Garrett actually interested in adding to it.

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…have quickly become my biggest wedding pet peeve. You know the ones, the bride and groom are dancing romantically for their first dance when all of a sudden this beat comes out of nowhere (gasp, “what is going on here??” says the look on the bride’s face), and then all of a sudden, SURPRISE! The new Mr. & Mrs. are doing a full-out “running man” into the “robot”… Sigh.

{ image via DanceJam }

Let me preface this by saying that I majored in dance in college and therefore consider myself to be a dance snob. So, forgive me while I vent for a moment and please know that I by no means mean to offend anyone…we just will not be doing a choreographed first dance at our wedding since it is definitely not something that matches our personalities. Hope that makes sense? You know I love all of you :)

Now, I get it. For some people, it’s hilarious that the usually-quiet groom actually got roped into doing some romantic-waltz-slow-dance-UH OH-DJ-gone-wrong-turntable-scratch-into-baby-got-back dance in front of all his fraternity brothers. OR, like my friend Matt, some people are just natural comedians so it’s completely fitting to incorporate both the “sprinkler” and the “shopping cart” into the first dance. I just really don’t find it funny to watch strangers dancing poorly at their own weddings on YouTube. Am I crazy here?

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When the boy told me that Star Wars: Episode 1 was the best Star Wars movie during our first date, I thought, whoa. This is never going to work.*

Luckily I decided to ditch the High Fidelity advice I heard lurking in the back of my head (the key to compatibility is not what you are like, it’s what you like) and found that even though he had no clue that before Sting there was The Police, or that the beginning of Ice Ice Baby was actually from Under Pressure,  I could look past that. And I’m glad I did, because despite having to fight each other every time we choose a movie, we share similar temperaments and idealistic outlooks on life, and it works.

So why am I talking about this? Because we had this conversation last night while I was typing up songs for our playlist.

“What are you working on?”

“Oh…um…I’m just typing a list of songs for the wedding, just started.”

“There are 85 songs on the list.”

“Oh yeah, well, y’know, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. They aren’t organized into different segments yet.”

“Uh-huh. And at one point were you going to ask me what I wanted on the playlist?”

“Um…oh…now? What would you like me to add.”

“Celine Dion.”**

If there was ever a moment of “bridezilla” in the planning, this was it. Except I truly don’t think this has anything to do with being a bride, I’d probably react the same way if I wasn’t a bride. This was just me unleashing my pop culture snobbery. After a couple of minutes of  “Whaaaaaaat? Whyyyyyyy?” he very calmly said “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were getting married to yourself.” Le sigh.

I just looked at him and said, “Ok. Fine.” I knew that I was being difficult. So I decided to shut up, and turned back to the computer and started typing again. “C…e…l…”

What compromises have you made with your partner in regards to wedding planning? Do you like the same music/movies/books/tv shows as your significant other?

*Very sorry to those who think Episode 1 was the best one. I’m a fan of Episodes 5 and 6.

**Also sorry to Celine Dion fans. I think she has some lovely songs, the boy just wanted to dance to one I do not like coupled with bad memories from junior high dances.

I danced for ten years: ballet, tap, jazz … you name it, I did it. So I can count music, and I pick up steps quickly. I’m also inherently a coordinator, a motivator, and sometimes an over achiever. This combination makes me a natural leader on the dance floor. Enter: the issue.

By no means am I insinuating that my fiancé has no rhythm. In fact, he took a semester of ballroom dancing in college, and he and his buddies even learned the Napoleon Dynamite dance and performed it at a wedding reception. But we agreed we could both use some polishing before our big day.

My lovely parents must think so, too, because they gave us money for Christmas to put towards dance lessons.

Now, finding a conveniently located studio and making ourselves available for consecutive Saturdays was tricky, but we did it. And we had our first dance lesson at Dance Harmony last week!

Our instructor, Kevin, is spunky and knowledgeable. We played our song, “You Are the Best Thing,” for him, and he immediately started to move across the floor. He decided the East Coast Swing would be most appropriate for the folksy, bluesy style of Ray LaMontagne. And when he described the style as “free form and fun,” we agreed!

{the sweet red shoes that I’m breaking in on the dance floor}

At our first lesson, we learned the basic “step, step, rock step” to a six-count and both a lady turn and a leader turn. Right, back to that “leader” issue. The first time Nick and I joined in the middle of the floor, I couldn’t help but take the lead. I reminded him of the footwork while we were moving and counted down the first turn. But when we added the leader turn, I had to relinquish control to my partner. And, I must admit, I was quite impressed by his response.

Learning to let him take the lead isn’t only relevant on the dance floor, but it’s also applicable to the life we will soon pledge to live together. Neither of us can lead all of the time. It’s about interdependency and sharing responsibilities.

Whether he’s guiding me into a turn on into a life decision, there’s really nobody I’d rather have as my partner. (Forgive me for getting mushier as August 28th draws nearer!)

So what about you? Are you and your fiancé taking dance lessons? Is your first dance going to be an entertaining swing or a traditional waltz? And did anyone else naturally want to lead like me?

(Note: We do have to speed up our song to accommodate the swing dance. But no worries, Ray won’t sound like a chipmunk!)

Scattered about our tables we had stacks of song request cards.  I loved the little premise that I ended up with of having song names that are actions for the headings on our cards.  Here are the headings we used:

Come on, let me Shake My Tail Feather to…

Shake it up baby, let’s Twist and Shout to…

We’ll be dancing, Shagging on the Boulevard if you play…

We’ve gotta Jump Jive An’ Wail to…

{Jessica Claire}

I inkjet printed on 3.5×5 Paper Source cardstock, rounded the corners, and voila!  Each song from the card titles above was played during the night too.  We had so many song requests that the DJ couldn’t fit them all in, so if you want your guests to participate this is the way to go.

Are you setting a playlist?  Letting your guests request songs?  Giving your DJ and band free reign?

E.

Previously: Choosing My Venue, Out of Town Baskets, Do Not Disturb Signs, The Welcome Party (Part 1, Part 2), Welcome Party Wrap-Up, Lighting the Lawn and Porch, Bathroom Baskets, DIY Coat Check Tags, Ceremony Music, Our Same Day Edit Video, Getting Pretty, Getting Ready Part II, Portraits, The Ceremony, Ceremony Readings, Cocktail Hour Decor, DIY Wine Glass Charms, Time Capsule Guest Book, Cocktail Hour Entertainment: Blackjack, Reserved Signs, Embroidered Napkins, and the Cocktail Hour, Estate Table Centerpieces

I’ve saved my favorite element of our wedding for last:  Photography!  We funneled any would-be videography budget all into photography and I’ve never had a second doubt!  Photography is the element of your wedding that captures every other piece and freezes it together with all the other details forever.  All that planning and energy and effort you put into all the little design elements can last forever through your photographs (even though they are all a blur on the day of).  As you’ve seen throughout this week, I love Stacy Sodolak’s photos and am so glad that we found her!

So to close out my time here on EAD Weddings, I leave you with my favorite moments of our wedding - the sweet and the silly, the serious and the celebratory:      

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Considering that the whole entire purpose of a wedding is… (wait for it)… to get married (!!! who knew, right?), it was shocking how little focus there often is on planning the ceremony that actually binds two people together.  Of course, we were no different - waiting until what felt like the last minute to really get down to the nitty-gritty of our ceremony.  But once we began talking about what we wanted said - to our guests, about our idea of marriage, and to each other - it really sank in how monumental those 20 minutes were going to be… the first 20 minutes of our lives together.

We chose a simple, non-denominational ceremony, officiated by one of my parents’ friends from the 70s who became a minister later in life.  It was very special for me to have someone who was present at the beginning of my parents’ relationship present at the beginning of our union.  While the ceremony was Christian-based, we really focused on choosing music and secular readings that were meaningful to our lives together and writing vows the described our thoughts on what a good partnership should be.

We hired a string trio (2 violins / 1 cello) to set the tone for our ceremony - Arundel Ensemble - and they were wonderful!  I’ve heard lots of brides say that they didn’t even notice the music as they waited to walk down the aisle, but every note to me was clear and added to my excitement and reverence for the moments to come.  As the families were seated, “Simple Gifts” was played - Evan’s favorite piece of classical music.  The bridesmaids processed to Canon in D - one of those traditional weddings songs that I absolutely adore and wanted to put somewhere, but not as my dad and I entered.  As a “surprise” to Evan, I asked Arundel to play “The Ludlows” from Legends of the Fall as my dad escorted me down the aisle, which is one of our favorite movies and an extremely beautiful piece of music.  Of course after one too many glasses of wine about 3 months prior to the big day, I let the cat out of the bag.  Oops.  But it was still very special!

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With our venue booked and our date secured, we needed to move quickly to lock in our other vendors. Reserving the Wang took a little longer than we thought, but luckily I had been researching and inquiring with other vendors all along, so within the span of a week after the Wang was done, we locked in our caterer, band, photographer, and officiant.

Wedding planning is a bit like trial by fire. You learn as you go, but you’ve got to be a quick study. Dilly-dallying on wedding decisions can cause you to stress out, lose money, or worse - miss out on booking a killer vendor.

Fortunately, my philosophy when it came to to finding and securing vendors rapidly became, “If we like what they do and it’s in budget, book it.” I wasn’t out to research every single photographer in the Boston area. That task alone would take months. We met with four and even that felt like a lot. Sure, you may find something out there that’s even better. But the precious time and effort it takes to get to them usually cancels out any added benefit.

So, ask yourself, “Do I like/trust this person/company?”

“Do their services fit into our budget?”

If the answer to both of these questions is yes, book them and be done.

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After deciding to hire a DJ over a live band (mostly due to our budget), we started asking around for recommendations. Hiring a DJ is unlike hiring other vendors. You can taste food prepared by your caterer and look at pictures taken by your photographer and even see bouquets arranged by your florist, but what qualifications do you use to measure your DJ?

If a name has anything to do with it, then we knew we were in for a treat when we arranged a meeting with Wild Bill. He was recommended to us by friends, and they assured us that his primary goal at a wedding reception is to get everyone on their feet. Sounds good to us! There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing a full dance floor at a wedding reception. We want our guests to let loose and celebrate!

Bill invited us to his home, and he sat with us in his living room among old record players and photos of him dressed in costume. He’s retired from the Air Force and has a firm handshake and a friendly smile. And we immediately appreciated his quirky sense of humor.

He walked us through a typical wedding reception from the introduction of the bride and groom to the final song of the night. I’ll give you details soon about our introduction and first dance … but for now let’s move right into dinner music.

Bill likes to begin the evening with mellow music of our choice. (Norah Jones, James Taylor, and Jack Johnson are some options.) He remains nondescript through dinner, and when the bride and groom are ready, he gets the party started!

He suggested we submit a playlist and a do not play list. I’m sure we’ll hear the likes of Bon Jovi, Lynard Skynard, Tom Petty, and maybe even a little Justin Timberlake and Beyonce. We want a mix that is appreciated by everyone from my 81-year-old grandmother to my 17-year-old sister.

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Along with my hair trial and DIY bouquet trial a couple of weekends ago, I also met with a good friend of mine from college who will be our DJ at our Saturday evening reception. We went over the basic flow of the evening including which formalities we’ll be including (toasts, first dance, father/daughter dance), which formalities we’ll be skipping (bouquet/garter toss, dollar dance, any unecessary cake smashing), what songs I’d like to avoid (ALL group dances including but not limited to the electric slide, YMCA, and the macarena) and what songs I’d love to hear. For the last few months I’ve been bookmarking YouTube videos of songs as I hear them and get excited. My collection is completely random, but these songs are always guaranteed crowd movers among the party animals in my family. I’m hoping our playlist will include at least some of these sure crowd pleasers.

Completely random? Possibly. Completely fun? You bet your dancing shoes it will be! What about you - do you have any songs you’d love to hear at your reception?

Let me set the scene: a canopy of trees shading the August sun; guests seated on either side of a circular fountain; the groom in a khaki suit waiting for his bride to walk down the stone staircase. And what do you hear? A musician strumming melodic chords on an acoustic guitar, of course.

We found said musician, Susan Savia, on Gig Masters. I highly recommend this site! It’s easy to use and offers a multitude of music genres – from Classical to Motown to Irish – for wedding ceremonies, receptions, and any party that needs some entertainment. You can search for performers, book them, and pay them online.

Susan plays the acoustic guitar and sings with a sweet, serene voice. (She also plays ukulele, harmonica, and piano.) She performs both original and familiar songs. She’s a bit vintage and a bit folksy; she’s just what we wanted for our ceremony! {Listen to Susan’s original music.}

Susan will play an acoustic mix beginning about 1/2 hour before the ceremony starts, while guests are being seated. Her list of love songs includes The Carpenters, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, Sarah McLachlan, Van Morrison, Natalie Merchant, and others.

We haven’t yet decided what songs we want to use for the seating of the mothers or for the procession of the bridesmaids, but I do know I’ll be walking to Pachelbel’s Canon. It’s absolutely traditional, but with that acoustic sound I love oh so much. {Listen to “Pachelbel’s Canon.”}

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