I am generally not a jealous person. Over the year which That Husband and I spent long distance dating I can’t ever recall feeling worried that he might be spending time with other girls, or developing an interest in someone else. I’m relatively happy with how I look, the clothes I wear, my overall general lifestyle.
Except there is a little green monster growing inside of me, and I can’t seem to evict him from my mind. It’s the nasty goobery kind that burrows in right in between your eyes and attempts to keep you from feeling happy for the accomplishments of others.
When we were first married, it was easy to get excited about living together in our new apartment, buying laundry baskets, shower curtains, and hanging photos on the walls. The delight is beginning to wear off now, and I crave light. I want to live somewhere with light coming in all sides. Light in the kitchen, light in the bathroom, light in the bedroom, light in the living room. All light from the sun, nothing artificial.
Back when we were dating That Husband warned me it would probably be several years before a house would even be a possibility. We don’t plan on settling down somewhere for a very long time, and purchasing a property we only plan on living on for two years just isn’t practical (and believe me, this is a marriage which thrives on practicality and logic). Of course, back when we were dating, I was still living at college, only reading wedding blogs, with only a few friends married off and living the dream. With more married friends, and a long list of newlywed blogs that I read, it’s starting to feel like everyone is buying a house. Everyone but me that is.
I’ve been whining about it a lot more to TH since my friend (who was married on the same day we were), announced they would be purchasing very soon. It was previously easy to ignore my house hunger by telling myself “We have only been married 6 months, no one buys a house within 6 months.” Now I know that isn’t true. She’s getting a house, I want one too!
I’m not asking for much, even if this sweet little yellow one would do.
When things get really bad (because post after post in my reader seems to be about people complaining about escrow*, mortgages, and the difficulty finding the perfect fit, which I would love to be experiencing any day), I think about my parents. My wonderful parents (organic farmer father and photographer mother) have lived in a trailer for their entire marriage. First it was a singlewide, and then a doublewide, and now they have a quadruplewide (two separate doublewides were attached together when I was in high school giving me my own bedroom at last). In fact, it wasn’t until I got to college that I realized we didn’t live in a “house” like most people. I had heard the jokes about people who lived in trailer parks, and had probably made a few of them myself, not realizing that it wouldn’t take too much work to load up our house on wheels and move it into the park right along with them!
Can my parents afford a house? Definitely. Their are variety of factors holding them back from building/purchasing their dream home, and I believe they deserve credit for their frugality in a society consumed with a mindset of entitlement. Their is no worries about “keeping up with the Jones’” for them, as they will do whatever they deem best no matter what their neighbors do. I want to be just like them.
I hope we get that home sooner than later, but even if our last child leaves the nest before we do, I’ll feel content knowing that it’s the loving environment inside that matters, not the structure itself.
Although porticos, gables, winding staircases, and floor to ceiling windows can’t hurt, right?
*Actually I don’t know if anyone really complains about escrow, I only know about the term from Friends. :)
You know, we bought our house before we were married (backwards logic, I know!)
It’s really nice in some respects to have your own place. But, there are definitely good things about renting too.
For instance, you don’t have to find time for yardwork! In the summer, the grass needs to be mowed about once a week. And there’s weeding, watering, pruning, etc. Not so much fun.
Also, when you rent, if you decide you want to move to a new area – no big deal. It’s not like you have a house to sell!!
But you’re definitely doing it right. Wait until you’re in a place where you think you’ll be for a while. It doesn’t have to be your “forever” house, but it doesn’t make sense to only be there for a couple of years either.
And I’ll let you in on another secret… just because you buy a house doesn’t mean your house envy will go away! No! You’ll see other *better* houses out there, and you’ll secretly wish that your house could be like that! You’ll daydream of all the DIY projects you’d do, if only you had the skills, money, and time! Ugh. Sometimes you have to remind yourself the reasons you bought your house in the first place.
We bought our house almost a year before we married, so I guess we’re backward, too. :) But think of all the money you’re saving up, and because you’re not in a rush you can take your time and find the perfect location and house for you. Even build! You’ll be glad you waited; it will make that first house all the more special.
Jennelle’s most recent blog post: One Year
We don’t own and have been married for 2 years. I can honestly say that I do NOT have house envy and do not wish to have a mortgage, unexpected HUGE payments when things break, and a butt load of property taxes to pay for right now. I went through a phase when it seemed like ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ and buying a house was the only way….but I’ve come to accept that we won’t buy for another few years. I’m so glad we didn’t buy last year right before the housing market went in the toilet. Talk about losing money!
julia’s most recent blog post: yawn
Twitter: @jennacole
Rachel-Haha, I’d never thought about that, the House Envy will probably always be there won’t it? That should tide me over for a few more years.
Julia-Husband doesn’t want to buy unless it is with cash (crazy to think I know!) so we hopefully won’t have a mortgage to worry about, and I do like calling maintenance whenever we have a problem. :)
Jenna’s most recent blog post: Family History Resources
Twitter: @stefanielynn04
You are definitely not alone! I totally have house envy too, but know that I have to be realistic at the same time. Hang in there and you will eventually have your house (and so will I!). Thanks for this post though – it’s good to hear that others are feeling that same way I do.
Stef’s most recent blog post: Thursday happenings.
I think this post, and your parents’ approach to life, is often reflected in your blog. There’s something creative, ingenious, and often self-sufficient (if that makes sense) in the things that you post about. Mostly, it seems that many of the things you bring up are doable, or applicable to the average person who wants a little something extra in their homes or lives.