Holiday! Celebrate!
September 10, 2009 · Posted in erin, holidays by erin
I hope you’ve all got Madonna’s “Holiday” stuck in your head now!
Now that we’re entering the fall season, it’s almost impossible not to start thinking about the holidays. We’ll start with football, lead into Halloween, then comes Thanksgiving, and finally the December holiday season of Hannukah, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. It’s such an exciting time of year, but can also lead to lots of stress if you’re a newlywed.
I’ve written about compromise before, but I think one of the hardest areas to reach a compromise is when dealing with the holidays. I’m sure no one’s going to bicker about where they’re celebrating Halloween this year, but Thanksgiving and Christmas can be very touchy subjects. Both people have their own traditions and both don’t like the idea of not getting to observe those traditions. My mom makes the best food on the planet and our celebrations are always full of tons and tons of family. My husband’s mother doesn’t love to cook and she is an only child. My husband is an only child. Holidays at his house are quiet and relaxed. They eat whatever she feels like fixing that year and then go home when it’s over. But both of our families want us to celebrate with them.
Fortunately, for us, we’re not getting any pressure from either side. My family is willing to give up Thanksgiving this year because we spent it with them last year. But I’m the one that still wants it my way and wants to spend the holiday with my family. I know I’m being unreasonable and my husband would just rather go along with me than argue about it, so we’re going to spend Thanksgiving with his family. For Christmas this year, both of our families are getting together in the mountains and renting a large house that will accommodate everyone for a week.
Now that a baby is in the picture, things have changed a little and everyone wants to be there for his first Santa Claus experience. No one wants to miss any of those moments. The whole things stresses both my husband and me out and I’m hopeful that we can get into a good routine that helps us establish our own traditions. And I hope, more than anything, that within the next few years we can establish a tradition of celebrating these holidays at our own home and our kids can spend the holidays at home.
The most important thing, though, is that we surround ourselves with people that we love. My grandmother’s thought was always, “It’s Christmas when you get here. Even if it’s February!” So I’m going to adopt her sweet little viewpoint and go with the flow!
What works for you? How did you and your significant other blend the holidays?
I definitely think that you’re on the right track. When we first got married, and then the first year after we had our baby, we alternated holidays - with no exception. It was SO HARD to let down my family when it was my in-laws “holiday” and visa versa, but in order to make it fair and keep things sane, that’s what we had to do. Now that we aren’t even near the state that both of our parents are in, we plan to stick close to our home for the holidays, and if family wants to visit us, then we will be waiting with bells on! Our little girl is turning 2 in November, so this will be her third Christmas; she’s getting to the age of awareness of the meaning of Christmas (and of course, St. Nick) so we want to enjoy that as a family, too. I agree that it is difficult to compromise because it’s a blending of traditions, etc.; but, starting this year, we’re making our own, new traditions and we can’t wait to celebrate! Great post; and - wow! - The holidays are really sneaking up on me!
My mother has always believed in the same concept as your grandmother — who cares when you celebrate the holiday, as long as you celebrate. My aunt and uncle spent 10-11 months out of the year in Europe (he is an opera singer, so he performs throughout the world), so we have done Thanksgiving in January, a summer 4th of July type picnic in March, etc. As long as we are together, it doesn’t matter if it’s on the actual day.
Things have gotten much more complicated now that my husband is a resident, though, because he can’t take time off from the hospital. This year, he gets one day off for Thanksgiving. In the past, we’ve done Thanksgiving with his family, and then a few weeks later done it with mine. But he no longer can take time off a few weeks later — so we can only see one family. And I can’t take time off at all over Hanukkah because of my research. Plus, there is the fact that we are in a long-distance marriage which also adds to the stress; honestly, I’d just rather see him alone, but of course my family wants to see me, and his family wants to see me too (he lives in the same city as his family and see them on practically a daily basis).
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We’d always imagined we’d split up the holidays and alternate. This Thanksgiving with his family and this Christmas in Indiana with my family. Then next year, we’ll switch. However, the Air Force doesn’t always make this easy: Nick actually works this Christmas because of his new plane. So I’m going to be home alone around Christmas, but we haven’t decided where I’ll actually spend Christmas day. I don’t want to leave Nick alone when he isn’t at work, but I don’t want to spend the day sobbing while he’s at work. :)
Good luck with the holiday plans! I get excited about having children, because I know we won’t have to travel as much. Our family will hopefully come to us.
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I am having such a tough time with this! My family alternates between huge Thanksgivings with all my extended fam, and quiet relaxation Thanksgivings with just the nuclear crew at our beachhouse in Watercolor. My husband has to work on Friday, so that kind of ruins our plans of the beach. :( His family has the holiday with his sister’s in-laws, and he hates it, so that’s out.
Our plan is to have Christmas with his family, but I am already getting upset about missing the x-mas eve ceremonry at my church. I know I am being selfish, but I hate change!! What to do?
one of the best decisions that the hubs and i have made is to spend thanksgiving and christmas doing something we love together. this was made a lot easier when we moved away from our families to chicago, but it really is awesome. some years we travel (we have been to hawaii, ghana, los angeles, etc over christmas) but most years we just hang out at home and enjoy the restful time we have together.
new years however, is always spent with our best friends - we’ve been doing that for 8 years now and it is a tradition that i look forward to each year!
