Earlier this month, my husband surprised me with a Kindle for Chanukah. When I opened the box I was at a loss of words for two reasons:
- I didn’t realize we were exchanging Chanukah gifts.
- I didn’t really want a Kindle.
You might be asking yourself, “Well, why wouldn’t they exchange gifts for Chanukah?” First, Chanukah is not really as a big a deal as Christmas. That’s just the honest truth. Yes, as children we were slightly spoiled with presents, but, as I’m no longer a kid and have no kids of my own to spoil, Chanukah, for me, is now about lighting the candles and eating latkes — not gift-giving. And since my husband and I didn’t discuss buying each other presents, I didn’t think we were doing it this year.
Still, my husband wanted to surprise me with something he thought I really wanted this holiday season. I don’t know if, during the year, I had casually commented on the Kindle while seeing a commercial for it. I can’t remember. However, knowing that I am a lover of books and chronically late returning them to the library, he thought a Kindle would be the perfect present. Or at least a runner-up to the iPad, which I really want but recognize is way out of our price range.
Boy, did I feel like jerk explaining to my husband that I didn’t think I would actually get much use out of the Kindle. He tried to so hard to please me, and here I was bursting his bubble. But I just couldn’t justify keeping something that cost that much money when there were other things I wanted and, dare I say, needed. If I were still living in the city and commuting on public transportation or if I took frequent business trips, the Kindle would definitely come in handy. Who wants to schlep a heavy book in their bag? But as I don’t do either, I’m perfectly content flipping through the pages of a library book while on the couch or in bed.
Although he was disappointed that I didn’t love his gift, he ultimately understood my rationale. Ironically, when he took the Kindle out of the box to give it a try, he decided that he actually didn’t even like it and would also prefer to read books the old-fashioned way!
I suppose I never told him that my wish list actually included a fancy-pants wallet and a pair of waterproof winter boots to replace my six-year-old UGGS. When I told him that if he really wanted to buy me something, he could get me that wallet, he argued that a gift should come from the heart of the giver, not from a list of items that the recipient already knows that they want. But I disagree! The purpose of wish list is to catalog those items that you wished you had but ordinarily would not buy yourself. I tried to convince him that it would still be special and a surprise to receive something from such a list. I even proposed that we both keep running wish lists that we can each reference when it comes time to buy birthday, anniversary or holiday gifts… but I don’t think he’s completely convinced.
Have you ever been disappointed by a gift given to you buy your significant other? Do you think having a wish list would making gift-giving easier, or does it take the “specialness” out of the experience?
{image source: Mary Kate McDevitt on Etsy}
Twitter: @nodakademic
You know, I fully support the argument that the gift should come from the heart of the giver. But that argument also assumes that the giver is a very observant person who (in your husband’s case) would have needed the observation skill to see your tattered wallet or old boots and think ‘that’s what I should surprise her with!’ Then he’d need to know details like your shoe size, or how many pockets/what layout/style of wallet would suit your needs. Some people are great at this kind of thing, but for the rest of us, wishlists really are helpful, not heartless (IMO).
.-= Nodakademic’s most recent blog post: a sunday date =-.
I love wish lists! My birthday is right before Christmas (today, actually), so I make a birthday/Christmas list each year. I send it to my parents and brothers. My husband and his family prefer to “wing it”, so I don’t give them a list. I do try to drop plenty of hints to my husband, though.
My husband does not make a list, but I keep a running list of things that he mentions throughout the year. By the time his birthday or Christmas come around, I have a good idea of what to get for him.
Twitter: @sillylittle
I agree that the gift should be from the heart of the giver. But that doesn’t mean you can give suggestions and that’s what I think a wish list is.
.-= Linda’s most recent blog post: Wishin And Hopin By Wally Lamb =-.
Twitter: @lastylemama
when my hubby and i were dating, he gave me a gift certificate to a spa to get a massage on christmas. he knew that i had been very stressed out and thought that would be the perfect gift. i would’ve loved it, but he had asked me what i wanted for christmas and i told him i wanted a pair of jcrew boots. (i really, really wanted those boots.) but he didn’t get them and instead got the gift certificate. it wasn’t that i didn’t want or appreciate the gift certificate, i just thought i would be getting the boots.
I agree with you on this one! I love my mom but we just have totally different taste in some things and I always feel so bad when I ask for the receipt for something that I know I’m not going to use. These days I do keep a list, or at least give good ideas, before Christmas. In the end it has worked so much better because it’s still a surprise to get things (half the time I forget what I’ve put on the list a few months later) and more importantly it’s much happier for both the giver and the reciever.
I love wish lists! I frequently make a Christmas or birthday wish list for my mom, mother-in-law and husband at their request.
My husband has purchased a few gifts that were total misses (hideous green shoes and a cellphone) and I was really sadden and disappointed. To save him from disaster, we exchange lists. To be fair, I am a pretty picky person and he is very practical so it just makes sense to have a list to go from. I always try to put a lot of options on it, so he has tons of ideas to chose from. Sometimes he does wing it – only if he knows it is something I’ve wanted, but left off the list. Like the tea kettle he bought last year! I hadn’t decided on one yet, but he found a yellow one that matched our kitchen perfectly and snatched it up.
My best friends however, never need a list and almost always hit it out of the park, but they are very observant and know and share my interests.
.-= Hasel’s most recent blog post: The Commission Project =-.
Twitter: @Hilly293
My husband is the WORST at picking out gifts. This year, he took the hint, and bought me a necklace for Hanukkah. The downside? He ordered it over the internet and it never arrived (got lost in the mail or someone at the Israeli Customs Authority took it). One of my friends told me that was my original gift.
My back up gift: bed socks. They are socks that you wear in bed but you warm them up in the microwave before hand.
I would have liked the necklace more.
.-= HillyG’s most recent blog post: Thankful Thursday – Procrastination Edition =-.