We’re a month out from the wedding. I should be excited, right? And I am. At least 50% excited at any rate. The other 50%? Stressed as all hell despite all of my best efforts to keep things in perspective. I know it’s just one day (well, one weekend in our case) and that I can’t allow that to eclipse the excitement of marrying the most incredible person I know. But I have to admit, at this point I’m just ready for the whole thing to be over and for us to be lying around our little oceanfront cabin in Maine, totally blissed out and done with the whole wedding thing.
I have a lot of projects I’m working on, a lot left to do, but a lot accomplished so far. I think we’re in really good shape on that front, so those sorts of ultimately insignificant details aren’t concerning me. With or without them, we’re getting married – in a month! No no, rather it’s the logistics of pulling everything together largely on my own. I live 45 minutes from my closest bridesmaid, an hour from all of my family, and while he’d love to be helpful (and he does try!), M is largely unable to offer me much assistance. I’m the natural born planner, the organizer so I delegate what I can, but he truly does rely on me to steer the ship, especially given his incredibly busy schedule as of late. I can’t help but feel like the planning process would be much more fun at this stage in the game if I were tucked snuggly in a little envelope of excitement and contribution from the people in my life whom I love. Sadly, that’s not really happening at this point. Ultimately, again, it’s not a life threatening scenario, but it makes it a bit more ho hum.
And, regretfully, our wedding has become much more political than I had ever dreamed. Suddenly, my grandmother cares that I’m not getting married in a traditional Catholic Mass. Suddenly, my father cares about things like invitation wording. Suddenly, we’re risking losing some of our guests due to two-night minimums at all of the local hotels (typical of any resort town in summer, right?) despite the fact that it’s something outside of our control. And I can’t tell you how upsetting I find that, especially when it involves family unbelievably near and dear to my heart. Suddenly, I’m stressed, tired and getting headaches far more frequently. I’m ready for a big glass of wine and a long nap.
I know I can’t be alone in my feelings so rather than keeping them to myself, I decided to turn to you for your thoughts. Any suggestions on how I can coast through these next few weeks without a breakdown? Is anyone else ready to just throw in the towel on wedding planning and just start being married? I’ll love you forever if you tell me I’m not alone.