Okay, fellow brides-to-be out there, I have a confession to make about my feelings toward the whole bachelor party thing. This isn’t easy to say, but I’m hoping some of you out might be able to identify with what I’m feeling, which is that I’m not 100% cool with it. In fact, thinking about the bachelor party makes me kind of nervous.
Of course, I want A to have a great time with his buddies before the wedding. Of course. And it has nothing to do with trust. Not a bit, I assure you.
But this past week, as A has been putting together his bachelor party plans, I found myself feeling anxious about the whole thing. Now, given that I’m prone to anxiety in general, this isn’t surprising. But what is surprising is the polar opposite difference between what I think and what I feel.
What I think is, bachelor parties are great ways for the groom to get away from the wedding stress and just have a really great evening or weekend away with his dearest friends. And I think I’d be sad if A didn’t get that experience. This is what my head thinks.
But my heart just knots itself up into a ball of nerves thinking, bachelor party… drinking… carelessness… danger… ah!
I think part of the problem is the expectations that society places around bachelor and bachelorette parties. I take offense at idea that these parties represent your last chance to GO WILD before being trapped for the rest of your life. To me, that works directly against the very foundation that I want my marriage to be based on: trust, love, openness.
In a sense, I think getting married sets you free. Here is this one huge area in life that you have figured out. You’ve made your promises to each other, you have your rock, your home base now, and from there you can go out and conquer the rest of the world.
Case in point on society’s bachelor/bachelorette expectations? The Hangover. First let me say, that was a fantastic, hilarious movie. I was roaring the whole time. I’m talking, rocking in my chair, tears squeezing out of my eyes, laughing my head off, roaring. It was easy to do because the movie was so over-the-top and exaggerated. But I do think it represents the expectation that your bachelor or bachelorette party has to be the craziest time of your life.
In fact, I’m feeling a little anxious about my bachelorette party too (but I totally trust that my friends will show me a great time).
The way A and I are approaching the bachelor/bachelorette parties is by thinking of them as opportunities to have a great time with our friends and blow off some steam before the wedding. Yes, there will be some carousing. But no one’s getting so wasted they wake up with a tiger in their bathroom (or so I hope).
Still, I’m recruiting my friends to keep me occupied while A’s out of town for the bachelor festivities. No matter how sane I sound in this post, I know that I’ll probably need a little distraction from my little knotted up heart.
Can anyone out there relate?